Separate Ways
by baneling
Summary: Rachel's life is a mess. She's suffered from a stillbirth and two miscarriages. Finn Hudson is alone. He's a widow and a father of two kids. Will the past become the present? Future Fic! Finchel.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hey everyone! So I randomly had this idea come to me back in November and literally had most of the story written up since then. I figured why not post it and see where I can go with it! I'd obviously love all your thoughts on it! Especially if I should continue it or not.

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The rain pelted the window of the Upper East Side brownstone apartment building between 1st and 2nd avenue. The apartment was a simple one, but decorated with the utmost elegance. One and a half bedrooms, the latter having been turned into a small nursery – a nursery that no matter how many attempts were made would never hold life in it. Two miscarriages and a stillbirth in three years, and the only tears shed were her own. He told her it would be okay, told her they would try again. However, the tone of his voice made her believe he'd never wanted children to begin with. She'd never had any intentions of falling in love again, and if she really thought about it her love never held up to her first true and honest love. Yet, is it not a fact that you never truly forget your first love? She loved him though; she loved him and married him. It was supposed to be her happy ending; it was supposed to be her fairytale. She had made it on Broadway and even received a Tony award as well as being nominated another time. It had been hard work, harder than she had expected it to be. Yet this was Rachel Berry and Rachel Berry was going to work her hardest to become a star. She wasn't huge, no, much to her dismay. She was known though, she was a winner and she was proud of herself. Maybe her high school dreams had been reaching a little too high, maybe now she was a bit more grounded and understood it all.

She was twenty-four when she met him on the subway. Her shoe had broken and when a huge man pushed right past her, she was sent into his lap. They laughed and talked until they both had to get off, which incidentally was the same spot. They traded numbers and met for coffee, it was everything she ever wanted it, it was everything she ever dreamed of. He was twenty-nine, a businessman, his name gaining recognition in his company each and every day. She was coming off her two year run in a play where she had received a Tony nomination, sadly not accompanied by a win. The two began to date and it seemed like everything was fitting into place. Rachel had begun to star in a new play that had just debuted and her boyfriend Patrick had been made CEO of his company. The night she won her Tony was the same night he proposed. They eloped. Something that both humored her, and made her think of the past. Rachel became pregnant not long after. However, after a miscarriage she decided to depart from the stage to focus on building her family. He had seemed supportive, but he was always busy. She had known going in he was someone of great importance, but it seemed that their relationship wasn't as strong as it had been when they were just dating.

When the news came that Rachel was in fact pregnant again she was filled with joy and immediately began to redecorate their small second bedroom into a nursery. They had moved in after being married only two months and as much as she loved the place they'd found together, she never truly felt like it was her home. Her mother-in-law, some uptight socialite, hired the interior decorators. She told Rachel to trust her judgment, for it was much better than a twenty-five year old actress'. She had begged her husband not to tell his parents about her pregnancy, not until she had set up the nursery the way she had wanted. His promise lasted a week until his mother swooped in with a handful of decorators to make the place fit for a princess. Rachel didn't hate it, though. It was a calming room. All she cared about was the baby growing inside of her.

When the doctors broke the news that their little girl had died within her womb, Rachel was a mess. She became distant. When it came time for her to deliver her husband never showed up to the hospital. She delivered their stillborn daughter and cried. She would have never wished that upon her worst enemy. They gave her a small funeral and Rachel proceeded to lock herself in her bedroom for two weeks. It was then she began to truly notice her husband. Had she been so caught up in wanting to fall in love that she had missed the little signs? She thought she was in a bad movie when she saw is collar lipstick stains on the collar of his dress shirts. He swore it was nothing, swore she was over-thinking. He claimed her overbearing. Santana saved her. It was an unlikely duo, especially given their history in high school. Santana had married into the same social circle that Rachel's husband and his friends belonged. All the other wives constantly talked about Santana, speaking of rumors they knew from before she had met her husband. Instead of joining in on them with her own book of juicy stories she had on Santana, she befriended her. Rachel herself was an outcast in the group, so why couldn't they be outcasts together?

She took her to a spa weekend, let her cry, let her scream, she told her to let it all out. It had helped, it had helped immensely. It was also the first time in a long time that she talked about Finn. They broke up years ago but she still thought fondly of him. He had married, he had a child, she was happy for him, but it pained her. She begged Santana to not try to tell him about what happened (when her friend has suggested contacting him), to not tell anyone. That She keep it a secret. She had been reluctant, but understood. Once he left Rachel began to feel like her old self again. She began to feel like Rachel Berry again – or rather, Rachel McGuire. She wasn't ready to go back to the stage, not yet anyway. Instead she signed on to become a ballet instructor for younger girls. It was a start. Dancing always made Rachel feel better. Teaching voice lessons soon followed as well. She even began to feel like her relationship with Patrick was improving immensely. Yet, everything that goes up must come down at some point? At least that's what Rachel began to believe. She became pregnant once again, she took leave from both her jobs immediately in hopes it would make everything all right. She suffered a miscarriage within the first few weeks. She wasn't able to come back from this one.

Rachel became a shell of what she once was. After the stillbirth it had been so hard for her to come back, and truthfully she'd never _fully _recovered. The miscarriage was the breaking point. She couldn't pretend she was all right anymore. She would never be all right again. Patrick didn't care about her. He never came home and when he did, he smelled like a mix of perfumes that were not her own. Almost four years of marriage and she began to believe she never knew him at all. Maybe she had been right when she first noticed things. Maybe trying to fix their marriage after the loss of their child had all been a sham. He had become cruel to her, his words, his looks, he was not someone she knew at all.

She sat in the rocking chair in the nursery and watched the rain hit the window. Patrick had never come home last night and she didn't even care anymore. When she heard the door open she didn't budge, her eyes stayed fixated on the rain.

"Rachel?" his voice rang through the apartment, "Are you here?" she didn't respond. Finally she heard footsteps approaching followed by a loud sigh, "I should have guessed." He flipped on the light and let out a groan, "I've decided I'm changing this back into my office. We've had this godforsaken nursery set up for almost three years. I think we need to stop kidding ourselves."

"No," she muttered under her breath.

"And she speaks!" He said with a sarcastic chuckle, "Speak again bright angel."

"You're not touching this room."

He was silent for a moment before a laugh escaped his lips, "The hell I'm not. You just need to fucking face it, you are not meant to have children. And I honestly don't want to pretend like I _want _children. Do you know what kind of blessing it was that you had those two miscarriages? And then losing our daughter?"

"Who are you?" Rachel lifted herself up from her chair and turned to look at him. "You're still in the same clothes from last night. You're drunk," she groaned as she went to walk by him. Trying not to let his words hurt her anymore than they had already.

"Don't you walk away from me," Patrick snatched her wrist and pulled her towards him so she was facing him. "I am so sick and tired of acting like everything's all right between us. You've become such a fucking bitch I can't stand it."

"Then why did you even marry me?" she spat at him, trying her hardest to pull her arm away from his grasp.

"Do you want to know the honest answer?" he stared her directly in the eyes, "My mother told me I had to get married or she was going to cut me off. I figured you were a safe bet – so naive." He lifted his free hand and stroked her cheek, "You were so sweet that day on the subway, so full of life; a nice little Jewish girl with big dreams. My mother didn't approve of you being an actress but I told her if I made you believe I wanted children you wouldn't worry so much about that."

Rachel couldn't believe what he was saying, "You're lying."

"Why would I lie to my dear little wife," he let go of her arm roughly causing her to bump into the wall before waltzing out of the room and over to their bar to pour himself another drink. "I wasn't ready for kids, Rach. Hell, I didn't even really want to be married. I liked you and man you were a good lay. I mean that thing you do with you-," he paused for a moment as a huge smirk appeared on his face, "Mmm.. soo good."

"I just-," Rachel slowly came to a halt, her arms wrapped around her protectively, "You know I hate when you drink. Just sleep it off, please."

"I've been fucking other girls since the day I met you," He chuckled, "I mean come on, you knew! You even found the evidence that one time, but chose to completely ignore it. You were always good at that, right?"

She didn't believe this was happening; no this was just some bad dream she was going to wake up from. "Why?"

"I've told you... I never wanted all this," he motioned to everything around him, moving his glass so fast some of the brandy spilled onto the floor. "I tried, Rachel. I did try to actually care. I was never a one woman man. Maybe I believed it'd be different after I met you."

"You're not even making sense!"

"I'm not?" he looked at her confused, "I'm making perfect sense to myself."

She closed her eyes and just stood there for a long time not saying or doing anything. She was sure he continued to speak, but she couldn't recall anything he possibly said. Part of her was believing everything he was saying, but the other part of her could only assume that it was the alcohol speaking. Then again, wasn't it that people spoke the truth when they were drunk? When she eventually opened up her eyes he was gone and she sunk to the floor and cried.

This was not Rachel Berry. This was some stranger.

* * *

"_I don't want to get into the middle of this! It's not our place!"_ The voice boomed from the bedroom, causing her to jump slightly. _"I know she's your best friend, but why does she **have** to come here!"_

She sneer was unmistakably, and even though she was in another room of the apartment she could hear it perfectly, _"Because she is __**my **__best friend and it's your so-called asshole friend that is destroying her! So suck it up." _The silence that followed was quickly shaken by the sound of a door slamming and loud footsteps approaching, "All set, you can stay in the guest room."

Rachel let out a sigh and looked at Santana, "You sure? Mark didn't sound too happy."

There was no reason for Satana to even _try _to muster up a smile, she knew that Rachel wouldn't buy it for a second, "He just doesn't want to get involved. Patrick is still his friend..," rolling her eyes she took a seat on the couch next to Rachel and quickly reached for her hand, "God knows why, I mean your husband is scum. Why are you married to him still?"

She didn't want to talk about Patrick, but she knew she couldn't avoid the topic, "He's a good man-," she paused for a moment noticing the distaste upon Santana's face, "somewhere inside, he just gets... I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders and sat back against the couch, "He just gets rude when he's drunk."

"I never liked that man, Ray," Santana told her forcefully, "I knew it from the day I met him. He's a player," she turned and pointed her finger at Rachel as she made this statement, "I mean I should know, I used to be one myself."

Never in a million years did Rachel Berry ever expect to be sitting on a couch in the middle of the night with Santana Lopez – or rather Santana James, and thinking of her as her best friend. However, this was exactly where she was and truthfully? She probably couldn't have asked for a best friend. "He told me he's been sleeping with other girls."

"DIVORCE HIM!" Santana exclaimed with a hint of evil hidden in his tone, "Take that bastard for everything he has!"

"I don't want everything," she sighed softly as she absentmindedly rubbed her petite stomach, "I just want our daughter back, San."

"I know losing her was so hard on you, hell, it was hard on me seeing you have to go through that," she reached over and placed her hand on her shoulder, "But you can't continue to dwell on it. I knew you were lying when we came back from that spa weekend. You've always tried to be brave and act like things aren't bothering you, I know that's not the case."

"I thought I was all right," she admitted in a soft whisper, "I was feeling like my old self again, but maybe I was just lying to myself."

Santana licked her lips and gulped, she knew she was going to regret the next thing she was about to say, "Maybe you need to take down the nursery. I think it's a constant reminder over what happened and-,"

"Are you coming to bed?" Mark James cut off his wife causing her to turn to him and glare.

"I'll be coming to bed when I want to come to bed." Rachel couldn't help but smile at Santana's response, deep down, she may have become a better person, but she was always going to have that Santana Lopez attitude.

Mark just rolled his eyes at his wife and turned to Rachel, "Goodnight, Rachel."

"Night, Mark," she whispered softly. Mark James wasn't a bad man, he wasn't anything like his friend Patrick McGuire. Then again, Mark had to be a good man to put up with the likes of Santana.

Once he was out of sight, Santana turned back to Rachel, "Just think about it, okay?" she pushed herself up to her feet and smirked, "Now if you'll excuse me I need to get some sleep. I have a 5 am Pilates class in the morning and _then _I have to have lunch with the monster-in-law. I think I'll wear that deep low-cut red dress I have. I always love when I freak her out," she shot Rachel a playful wink before turning on her heel and heading towards her bedroom.

Once she was out of sight, Rachel could no longer keep the tears back. Santana was right, she wasn't okay like she had thought she was. Having another miscarriage after the stillbirth had been the final straw, and the nursery was a constant reminder. It didn't help that being a ballet instructor to little girls made her heart yearn for her own child. Yet, at the same time they brought so much joy to her life that being around them often brought a smile to her face.

It was in the end a win/lose situation if there ever was one.

* * *

Rachel had been woken up by Mark and Santana's maid Frannie. She was the sweetest little thing, always referring to Rachel as 'Miss Rachel'. Rachel had never wanted a maid, even when Patrick so desperately tried to push for one. Growing up she and her fathers had done all the cleaning themselves, and well, she had no intentions of paying some person to clean her own messes. After a cup of coffee and a quick read of the paper she grabbed her belongings and headed back to her and Patrick's apartment. When she stepped inside she breathed a sigh of relief over the fact he had made it to work, however, he almost _always _made it to work. She often enjoyed being in the apartment by herself, the apartment she had to convince Patrick to buy. It had helped that it was in a neighborhood he had liked, but he and his mother both would have preferred for the couple to move into a larger place. Rachel really didn't understand why they needed so much room. This place was perfect, aside from the reminder of what they lost.

Taking a few steps towards the nursery, Rachel took a deep breath and walked inside. She would spend time in there everyday and maybe that was the problem, she wasn't letting go. She took one more look around before stepping back and closing the door behind her. Eventually she would change the room, but for now just closing the door was a step in her eyes. Heading into the bedroom she just rolled her eyes when she noticed Patrick's clothing laying around on the floor. With a shake of her head, she quickly sighed and reached down to pick up his pants and straighten them out. However, as she did this she noticed something colorful sticking out of his pants pocket and reaching inside she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Red silk panties. They were not hers by any means. Clutching them in her fist for a moment, she opened her eyes and sniffled before shoving them back into his pocket and dropping the pants to the ground.

After taking a long and much needed shower she slipped into her ballet outfit and grabbed her bag before heading down to the studio for one of her classes. Today was her youngest group of girls. Five and six year olds. They honestly melted her heart with their smiles. As she walked into the studio, she couldn't help but smile as they started to call out of her name. Quickly running over to her and giving her hugs. "Happy to see me?" she laughed softly before slowly slipping from their grips and going to put her bag down in the corner, "Are you girls ready to get started?"

"Miss McGuire! Miss McGuire!" a one Madison Hudson called out as she reached her tiny arm into the air to get Rachel's attention causing her to smile.

"Yes, Madison?"

"I worked on my pile over the weekend!"

Rachel let out a soft chuckle at Madison's use of the wrong word as she went over to Madison and knelt in front of her, "Would you like to show the whole class your Plie?" Madison nodded eagerly and Rachel stood up and backed up, "Everyone, Madison would like to show us her plie, now lets all pay attention." She clapped her hands and motioned for the small little brunette to show everyone.

One step at a time. That was all Rachel needed.

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feedback? should I continue? I'd love to get everyone's thoughts again!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Wow! thanks everyone for their amazing reviews on the first chapter! Sorry that I didn't get this one up sooner, life got a little hectic for a second and I'm going away this week so I wanted to at least get the second chapter of this one up. My other story will be updated after this week! I do hope you are enjoying!

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The smoke from the toaster was causing the smoke detector to blare throughout the two bedroom loft that had somehow converted into an apartment for three. The smoke detector, no matter_ how _loud it may have been, could not help but be amplified with the sound of two small children running around and screaming at the top of their lungs. Running through the loft, he stepped on a small toy and let out a loud yelp, followed by the uttering of a curse word. This of course caused both of the children to stop dead in their tracks and stare at him. Finn Hudson tried his hardest to _never _curse in front of his two children, but sometimes - in situations like this - it just happened to slip. If someone asked him if he thought that he'd be a father before he turned 30, a single father on top of that, he would have asked what drugs they had been taking. Of course, that's _exactly _what had happened. Sometimes he couldn't help but feel like he was stuck in this dream that he was unable to wake up from.

He had never thought he'd end up married, especially given the only time he _ever _talked about marriage in his life was with his one ex in high school. The ex who was probably the only girl he'd _really _loved during those days. Sure, he had _said _he loved Quinn, but when it came down to it, Rachel really had held his heart for his high school career. However, he ended up married and was actually quite happy. Well, at first he was. It was more so, okay, Finn ended up drunk and married, but he wasn't going to _say _that to people. Really, people did get married in Vegas while drunk; it apparently was not just something movies and television shows made up. So, he got drunk with his girlfriend of 7 months while in Vegas and, BAM, in the morning she was a Hudson. His family didn't dislike her, and well, he liked her enough, so they figured why not give it a shot.

Three months into the relationship his wife dropped the bomb on him; she was pregnant, pregnant with his child obviously. He had spent the entire pregnancy freaking out over the fact he didn't think he was ready to be a father. It had taken a while for Finn to figure out what he wanted to do; he had gotten into Ohio State after high school on a football scholarship, but was that what he _really _wanted? It was after some time and decisions in his life that he decided he wanted to help people and in that Finn worked his ass off to become a firefighter. Gina of course didn't exactly _like _hiscareer choice; especially given that he wasn't home at the most normal hours sometimes. And of course, his pregnant wife was constantly breathing down his neck over all of this. Finn just continued to tell himself it was her hormones, but sometimes he felt like they honestly hadn't known each other well enough when they went into all of this. Of course, as soon as his daughter came into the world, Finn knew he would do absolutely anything for her. Madison Jane Hudson was her father's pride and joy. However, from the day she came into the world, Finn and Gina's relationship just seemed to suffer more and more. It wasn't that he didn't care for her, because he did, it was just... she kind of made him feel like Quinn had back in the early years of their relationship. The remarks on him being stupid, and while Finn knew he wasn't always the sharpest tool in the shed, he had matured greatly and he wasn't _as _he once had been.

When Madison was two years old, the Hudson's welcomed their second child into the world. A little boy named Christopher Michael Hudson. He honestly was a mini-Finn, at least that's what Carole Hummel liked to say about her grandson. It was about four months in that Finn and Gina's problems started to once again rise to the surface, however, this time around instead of just trying to ignore them, the fighting started. They fought over everything and anything. Gina didn't think she should have to work, and while Finn wasn't forcing her too, it didn't help that he worked his ass off for her to take his money and go spend it on clothes and things they had no need for. Gina had become to put Madison in pageants, but the little girl absolutely hated them. She would cry, scream, beg Finn to let her stay with him. He tried to talk to Gina, asked her to let Madison wait till she was a little older to see if it was even what she wanted to do. Plus, as much as he supported arts, dancing, singing, the pageants that Gina was subjecting their daughter to wasn't exactly his cup of tea. She was almost three years old, and wearing more make-up than any of the women that had been in his life combined.

It was a rainy cold night when the cops had shown up to their place. He had just put down Christopher, which had been a task since their youngest was suffering from an ear infection. That visit was one that changed his life; Gina had gone out with some of her friends, which Finn didn't even want to put up a fight about. However, she had decided she was okay to drive after a couple drinks and hydroplaned into another car. She died on impact. He didn't even know what to say. Madison had come out in her pajamas, rubbing her tired little eyes asking for mommy. How was he supposed to tell her and Christopher that their mother was gone? Finn had to stay strong for his kids, he knew that. He was grateful for the support of his family members, but he himself was pretty much a wreck. They might have been having their problems, they may have not ended up being forever, but Finn did not want this to happen, he did love her and losing her like this was painful.

Trying to move forward in Lima, Ohio was proving to be difficult. Everywhere he went everyone looked at him sadly. His mother had tried to set him up on a date after an appropriate amount of time, but it was obvious that he was far from ready. Not even because of Gina being gone, but he just didn't want to bring women around his children when he wasn't even sure what he wanted from them. It was a phone call from Kurt that saved his life. His step-brother had moved out to New York and started his own fashion line, which from what Carole informed him, did quite well. Kurt wanted to see his niece and nephew more, and figured maybe Finn would be able to really make something for himself in the New York City Fire Department. Finn wasn't sure if it was a good idea, to move his two young children away from their grandparents and go to the big city that could possibly eat them alive? But he at the same time knew that Kurt was right. Finn needed a fresh start, and maybe raising his kids in New York would shape them into two strong individuals. So with the help of Kurt, Finn, Madison, and Christopher moved to Brooklyn, New York and weren't going to look back.

Letting out a long sigh, he pointed to the kids' bedrooms, before kicking the toy he had stepped on to the side and heading into the kitchen to quickly unplug the toaster and grabbed a towel to wave in front of the smoke detector to get the noise to stop. Once it had and the toaster cooled down, he pulled out the two pieces of toast then flipped it over. He groaned loudly when he saw a small piece of burnt toast land on the counter, the cause to the problem obviously. The move had helped to a point, but he still was overwhelmed more than he would like to have been. Kurt had been a godsend though, a complete godsend. With Finn's hectic schedule, which was even more hectic than it had been back in the department in Lima; Kurt had gotten him the best nanny money could buy. Cynthia was in her mid-thirties, lived in Brooklyn with her partner Michelle (who was Kurt's assistant), and well, she was the best to Madison and Christopher.

"Daddy!" Madison's voice yelled from behind him, causing him to quickly turn around and look at his daughter. He couldn't help but smile when he noticed she had put her dress on backwards. She was usually_ pretty _at dressing herself, but sometimes like this instinct, she kind of failed at putting things on the right way.

"What's up, princess?" he said smirking as he went over and knelt down in front of her, "I think we might be a little backwards, don't you agree?"

She gave him a huge smile and nodded as she let her father help her straighten out her dress, "Daddy, daddy... Miss McGuire said I did my pile perfect in class!"

Finn raised his eyebrow and just smiled, he was pretty sure that wasn't the _right _for the dance move, but what did he really know. "I need to come see your class one day soon," he told her, seeing the hope in her eyes, "I promise." His schedule hadn't given him the chance to even step foot in the dance studio that Madison took her lessons. Kurt was the one paying for them, which Finn continually told him he didn't have to do. Madison had confessed to her uncle after he took her to see the ballet that she wanted to dance like that, next thing Finn knew his daughter was taking lessons. Cynthia took her back and forth on the days she had them, and she said from what she could see, Madison was catching on quite well. "Now, let me go make sure your brother hasn't made a mess and we will go meet Uncle Kurt and Uncle Puck for lunch, okay?"

Making his way into his son's 'bedroom', Kurt had basically turned a huge master bedroom into two for the kids, with a divider that closed. Christopher was sitting on the floor, making growling sounds as he played with his dinosaurs. He had his pants on, but his shirt was still laying on his bed, "Hi daddy!"

"Hey buddy," he went over and grabbed Christopher's shirt before going over to sit down with him, "You ready to go get lunch with Uncle Kurt and Uncle Puck?" Finn and Puck, even with all the drama they tended to have, still remained close friends. It was after Madison was born that Puck moved to New York to open his own bar/restaurant. He lived close to Finn and the kids and was always willing to lend a helping hand.

Finn Hudson never would have thought the two people that would be his saviors would be Noah Puckerman and Kurt Hummel.

* * *

Before they were even able to go to lunch, Kurt had received a phone call from someone from Macy's, they had recently started to carry his line, and well, something was wrong and he was going to need to stop there. Finn hated bringing the kids out of Brooklyn often, and bringing them into such a big store? They were definitely going to end up having a chase at some point. "Just hurry back," Finn groaned as Christopher tried to get out of his grasp so he could go look at something, "They are hungry and antsy and you know that's not a good combo."

"Oh dear brother of mine," Kurt said with a smirk, "Don't you worry a bit, I will be right back. And _if _favorite niece and nephew are good, _maybe _I'll get a surprise!"

This of course caused the kids to get excited, "They are your only niece and nephew!" Finn called after his step-brother as he headed out of the corner and out of his sight.

Madison had been holding onto Puck's hand as she played with a sleeve of a shirt, that was until something or _someone _her attention. She let go of Puck's hand and started to walk away, a huge smile appearing on her face, "Daddy! Daddy!"

Finn looked away from Puck and down, his eyes widening instantly when he noticed Madison was no longer next to puck. "Madison!" he called out and let out a sigh of relief when he noticed she was only a few feet ahead, "Come back here right now."

"Daddy, it's Miss McGuire," she said happily before turning around the corner and disappearing from Finn's sight.

Finn thrust Christopher into Puck's hands and gave him a glare, "Why did you let go of her hand!" he started to head around her daughter, having no idea why she walked away.

Of course Madison had walked away for a reason, "Miss McGuire!" she called out causing two women to stop and turn to the small voice, "Hi!"

Rachel smiled brightly as she saw one of her students in front of her, but of course Santana didn't look too thrilled that she was just interrupted by a child. "Hi Madison," Rachel slapped Santana on the arm and headed over to the little girl and bent down slightly, "What are you doing here alone?" she looked around and didn't see Madison's mother around or anyone else that seemed to be with the little girl.

"I'm not alone!" she told her smiling, "I'm with my daddy, my Uncle Kurt, Uncle Puck and brother."

"Uncle Kurt and Uncle Puck?" Santana raised her eyebrow, "I would almost think- oh my god."

Rachel turned to look at her best friend who had that 'I just saw a ghost' look on her face, "What?" However, before Santana even needed to say anything else she heard _his._

"Madison Jane Hudson, what has daddy told you about walking away from him in public?" Finn's voice boomed but then he came to a halt as the woman kneeling in front of his daughter looked up to meet his gaze, "... Rachel?"

Her breath caught as she stared at him, pretty sure that the look on her face now mimicked what Santana's looked like only minutes ago. Rachel stood up and slid her hands down her dress, "Finn?"

"Bloody hell," Santana muttered under his throat, "Am I in a bad nightmare or something?"

"Daddy, daddy!" Madison grabbed Finn's hand and used all her 5 year old strength to pull him closer to Rachel and Santana, "This is Miss McGuire."

"Miss McGuire?" Finn raised his eyebrow utterly confused by what was going on, "Oh! Your dance teacher... Rachel, it's been-," he paused for a moment as he noticed who was with Rachel, "Santana Lopez?" Last time he checked, or well, remembered, Santana and Rachel were _not_ friends.

"That's James now, Finnocence," she gave him an unamused smile, "Rach, I needed you to help me pick out this dress for the party on Friday, can't this-," she motioned to what was going on in front of them, "Wait?"

"Santana," Rachel turned to her best friend and glared at her causing Santana groan.

"Very well, carry on."

Turning back to Finn she smiled, "I didn't know Madison was your daughter. I mean, I know her last name is Hudson, but apparently that's not the most uncommon last name," she laughed awkwardly as she reached up to push a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, she's my little pride and joy," he said chuckling awkwardly as he stared at his past. "I didn't know you were her teacher, but then again... the whole last name thing," he pursed his lips and reached up to play with his collar, "It's a little hot in here isn't it?"

"There you fucking are!" Puck called out; catching glares from the women he walked by, "Oh don't act like you'd never cursed before!" He came to the group and pushed Christopher back into Finn's arm, "I may be his godfather, but I am not going to allow him to bite me." Puck turned to the group, "So what do we- Berry? Lopez? What the fuck-"

"I told you not to curse in front of them!" Finn glared at him as he balanced Christopher on his hip.

Rachel looked at Christopher and couldn't help but smile; he was the spitting image of Finn, "Is he yours?"

Finn nodded, "Yep, this is Christopher. Christopher say hi to Rachel," he told his son he waved at her shyly before burying his face in Finn's neck. "He can be shy around new people."

With a nod Rachel smiled and looked down at Madison before kneeling down in front of her again, "Madison do you want to know something really cool?" She waited for the little girl to nod before she continued, "I used to be friends with your daddy and Uncle Puck when I was younger."

"Really!" Madison's eyes lit up as she looked up at her daddy, "Daddy, why did you never tell me?"

"Well sweetie, Miss McGuire went by a different last name when we were younger," he smiled at her sweetly before looking back to Rachel, "This is really a small world."

"Isn't it," Santana scoffed as she looked at her nail polish over to Puck, "The years were good on you Puckerman."

"The Puckasaurus is still the man, baby."

"Children present!" both Rachel and Finn said at the same time causing them to both blush slightly. "So," Rachel stood up again, "I haven't seen you at any of Madison's dance lessons. I haven't had a chance to talk to your wife either at them, is she here? I hope she doesn't think I am a terrible person for not having to spoken to her yet. All these people come up to me and I miss some of them by the time the others stop talking," Rachel awkwardly laughed.

"His wife? Finn's wife is dead."

"Puck!" Finn smacked him on the chest as Madison buried her face in Finn's leg, "Don't talk like that in front of Madison and Chris!"

Rachel's eyes widened as she bit on her lip nervously, "I am so sorry, I just thought..."

"She's my nanny, she takes Madison to her lessons and all that," Finn began to feel awkward just standing there. It wasn't that it wasn't good to see Rachel, because honestly? Because it was, more than he ever thought it would. Not that he really ever thought about seeing her again or anything like that. It was more awkward with Puck, Santana standing there with them.

"There you guys are! Why did you- Oh my god!" Kurt's voice squealed and Rachel and Santana quickly turned around. Kurt ran over and threw his arms around Rachel, "Are my eyes deceiving me or is Rachel Berry standing in front of me!" he took a step back and looked her over, "And oh my god! You're not dressing like a toddler anymore!"

"Thanks... I guess?"

Kurt turned to look at Santana, "And look at you, dressing all fancy. Let me guess, you married rich."

Santana smirked, "You better believe it!"

Puck groaned, "As fun as this little reunion has been, I am starving and I have to be at the restaurant soon, so could we please get moving?"

After everyone quickly said their awkward goodbyes, Puck and Kurt took Madison and Christopher and Santana told Rachel she'd meet her at the perfume counter so her and Finn could talk for a minute. "Wow, this is such a small world," she said blushing softly, feeling like she was sixteen years old again, "It was really good seeing you, Finn."

"You too, Rach," he said smiling, "I'll probably see you when I come visit Madison's dance class, I kind of promised her I would," he told her with a laugh.

"I guess I'll see you around then?" Rachel moved in and pressed a kiss on Finn's cheek before backing away. For a brief moment she let her lips part as she stared up at him before quickly shaking her head and smiling and walking backwards just a bit, "Oh and Finn, I am really sorry about your wife." And with that Rachel walked away.

* * *

As Finn got the kids settled down in bed that night he couldn't help but continue to think about Rachel. He should have known she was in New York. Didn't Kurt once say she was on Broadway for a while or something like that? He still found it odd that she was with Santana and a part of him really wanted to know how that one came to be. Maybe he could ask her when he finally is able to take or even pick up Madison from dance. Was it where he wanted to talk to her again? A little, but then again even with everything that had happened in their past they had always been friends, even if it was awkward friends at those awkward times. Why not catch up and all that, especially since she was his daughters dance instructor.

"Daddy?" Madison's tired voice called out from her bed as Finn sat on the floor in front of her toy chest putting away the toys she had pulled out earlier that day. "Do you think Miss McGuire is pretty?"

Finn raised his eyebrow as he looked up at his daughter, "Excuse me, Madi?" He pulled himself to his feet and went over to sit on the edge of her head. He began to make sure she was tucked in properly before tilting his head to the side, "Where did that question come from?"

Madison stared at him confused for a few moments before speaking, "I think she's very pretty, do you?"

He couldn't help but smile, "I've always thought Miss McGuire was very pretty, Madison. She used to be one of my best friends, now you go to sleep okay?" After she nodded he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the forehead before heading over to the door. "Sleep well, princess." He shut off her light and headed down the hall way to his room.

He always thought Rachel was pretty.

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Thoughts? Next chapter we will get some Rachel decisions as well as some Finchel scenes that I hope you ALL like! Keep those reviews coming!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I am so glad that so many of you like this story! I am sorry for my lack of updates, March and I have not been getting along! I already have the next chapter outlined so I want to get that up in the next couple of days. As long as you guys want to read it! The more responses I get the quicker I will update!

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The hot water ran down her body as she allowed her eyes to flutter close and just enjoy the feeling of the water. The memories of her dream the night before instantly flooding back, causing a small smile to appear on her lips. It was a dream she had about _him, _and it wasn't the first time that he had plagued her dreams since they ran into each other. For a brief moment she had contemplated telling Santana about how she had been continuously dreaming of him since that day, but then she decided against it. For now it was better to just keep those thoughts in her head. For all she knew, Santana could try to analyze them and that was the last thing she needed right now. With all the other things going on in her head, there really wasn't any reason for her to try to sit around and figure out why she was having dreams of a boy that had so much to do with her past. A boy she had never actually thought she'd see again, well, at least not in New York City. Maybe it was because of that she never realized Madison was his daughter. Not solely on the last name thing, because New York was big and well, Hudson wasn't _exactly _the most uncommon last name out there. No, but it was the fact this little girl definitely looked liker her daddy, after seeing them together that one day there was no denying it. Obviously she could guess Madison also looked a lot like her mother and though she herself didn't know what the woman had looked like, she could just tell the woman had to have been beautiful.

When Noah had let it slip in front of her at Macy's that Finn's wife and the mother of his children had died, well, her heart honestly broke in two. To be a single parent to two young children must have been so difficult on him, and the fact these two small children weren't going to grow up around their mother? Heartbreaking. However, what she did know and remembered of Finn Hudson, she believed that he had to be such a great father. She hadn't said anything to anyone, especially Santana, but she had been slightly disappointed over the fact she had yet to see him at one of Madison's dance lessons, but he was probably busy.

A banging on the bathroom door quickly yanked Rachel out of her thoughts. Her eyes shot open and she looked through the fogged up glass door of the shower, a small annoyed sigh escaping her lips. She knew very well that Patrick was most likely fuming over the fact she had locked the bathroom door, but she honestly didn't care anymore. Rachel shed way too much tears as of lately over her marriage to Patrick, and she just didn't want to keep allowing her heart to be broken. She tried her hardest to block out the pounding and Patrick's yelling as she took her time to finish up her shower.

"Finally," Patrick scoffed as the bathroom door opened to reveal him standing in front of it with his arms crossed in front of him. Rachel just stared at him for a moment, a towel wrapped around her while she held another in her hand in order to dry her wet hair, "What the fuck were you doing in there?"

Shoving passed him, Rachel rolled her eyes before turning slightly to look at him as he did the same, "What does one do in the bathroom, Patrick?" She licked her eyes as her eyes narrowed slightly, "I was running a marathon clearly. If you really needed to pee so bad, you could have used the other bathroom. It _does _have a toilet." Rachel wasn't dumb of course, she knew very well that Patrick had wanted to shower and she had gone in before he could. Had she done that on purpose? She really wasn't sure.

"Ah, Sarcasm and crudeness I see. Clearly you have been spending way too much time with Santana," he pursed his lips as he turned to watch her walk over to her dresser, "You should spend more time with my mother and the other ladies, they can show you how to be respectful."

Rachel paused for a minute, "Respectful? They don't even like me!" she turned to look at him, "Your mother always makes her little rude comments about my career choices."

"Well," Patrick began, a slight hint of humor dripping in his voice, "Acting, dancing, and singing aren't really a career choice if you ask me, I mean they are kind of path-,"

Rachel quickly cut him off, "What are we even doing?"

Patrick raised his eyebrows as he looked at his wife with a hint of confusion on his features, "What do you mean?"

"This... us... this isn't working," she groaned as she motioned between them, "I don't think it was ever really working."

"Rachel.. I am not-,"

"No," she said strongly, "It was all a fantasy. You and me-,"

"I am not fucking dealing with your dramatics right now," Patrick turned on his feel and headed into the bathroom, quickly slamming the door shut behind him before Rachel was even given the chance to protest.

She reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose before sinking down onto the edge of the bed and letting the towel that had been in her one hand fall to the ground. It was no use. Rachel no longer wanted to be a doormat, but it seemed no matter how hard she tried to stand up for herself and approach Patrick about the failure that was their marriage, he quickly blew her off. He either made her cry or ignored her, that was just brilliant. Rachel took a few deep breaths as she buried her face in her hands, she couldn't do this anymore. When was the last time she was even happy? When she was pregnant? And in the end she got her heart broken three times. Pushing herself to her feet she stomped over to the bathroom and threw the bathroom door open, apparently he had forgotten to lock it. Rachel took another deep breath as she held onto the doorknob tightly, "I want a divorce."

"Excuse me?" Patrick said over the sound of the water.

"I said I want a divorce!"

* * *

His cooking skills had approved quite a bit over the years, sure, he wasn't perfect, far from it actually. However, he cooked quite fine for him and the kids. And because of this, he was the one who was always forced to cook down at the firehouse, which actually he didn't mind at all. It was because of that he actually felt like he was getting better at cooking, but then again him and the guys would eat just about anything. It was a little more difficult at home, since it seemed like Madison and Chris had completely different eating habits. Madison liked to actually eat healthy, which actually kind amused him since she was so little. She always wanted fruit as a snack while Chris wanted candy and junk food, he really was a little Finn.

Finn glanced down at his watch as he worked on cleaning the dishes that were clearly in the sink. He would be heading home in a little while, which he was glad for. He had tomorrow off and was planning on bringing the kids to the zoo, he was_ trying _his hardest to convince Puck to go with him, but it seemed like that was going nowhere. Sure, Finn really did want one on one time with Madi and Chris, but he knew both of them at the zoo was going to be a hard thing to handle. He'd do it though, he was used to doing it.

"Yo Hudson," one of the guys Mark slapped Finn on the back as he made his way into the kitchen before plopping down on one of the benches. Mark was a standup guy, him and his wife always offered to help out with the kids anytime Finn needed it. They had a little girl that was a little younger than Madi, so it helped out a lot and the kids all got along well. "Any big plans for your day off?"

Turning the water off, Finn took the towel and dried his hands before turning against so his back was leaning against the counter, "Taking the kids to the zoo, weather permitting of course."

Mark nodded his head as he drummed his hands against the bench, "Not shabby."

"The fucking zoo?" Tony said with a chuckle as he walked into the room, "When was the last time you went on a fucking date, Hudson? You honesty look like you need to get laid."

Finn just rolled his eyes. Tony reminded him of Puck, just cruder and well, the guy seemed to be stuck in his teenage mentally at times, "I don't have time to date. Two kids, remember?"

"Not that I am agreeing with Tony here, Man," Mark put his hands up in almost a defensive state, "But don't use your kids as an excuse to not _try _to date."

"yeah, I guess," Finn just shrugged his shoulders before glancing down at his watch, "I probably should get out of here though. I'll see you guys soon!"

"Bye Man!" Finn made his way out of the kitchen and upstairs to grab his stuff from his locker before heading home.

Sometimes he wasn't even sure if he was ready to date. Sure, it be cool to get out without the kids, but he could do that with Puck. Part of him wasn't even sure he would be able to survive a date, he wasn't the smoothest guy around and he was pretty sure his game had gotten even worse since the kids were born. It was just something he tried his hardest not to think about lately. If he met a girl and wanted to go on a date, well, maybe he would try, but for right now he had no problem focusing on his kids and job. He couldn't even remember the last time he spoke to a girl that wasn't either something for work or someone waiting at him at a store. Wait, actually... that was a lie, he had spoken to Rachel Berry or... McGuire? What was her last name now? Whatever, she was _always _going to be Rachel Berry to him. He never expected to run into her again in his life, then again.. wasn't it _always _her dream to go off to New York and all that shit?

He had thought about her a couple times since the run in. Okay, that was a like, he had thought about her_ numerous _times since the run it at Macy's. She looked beautiful, even more than she did in high school, and well, Finn had always thought she was beautiful in high school. Sure, he remembered when she had the whole complex about not being prettier than Quinn and them, but honestly? It was her unique beauty that always drew him to her. He was pretty sure thinking about his high school girlfriend who was now married probably wasn't the best thing, but he kind of just wanted to know what was _really _going on with her? It had been so long, was that wrong of him to be curious? He didn't really think so.

The sound of Finn's phone ringing in his pocket caused him to stop walking and reach into his pocket to pull it out. Once he saw the word 'home' flash across the screen he quickly answered and brought the phone to his ear, "hello?"

"DADDY!" Madison's voice yelled through the phone causing Finn to pull it back from his ear just a little bit, "I left my bag! You need to go get my bag! Mr. Fluffies in it there! You need to go get my bag!"

"What?" Finn narrowed his eyes at his daughters yelling about her teddy bear, "Madison? Put Cynthia on the phone."

The phone could be hear being moved around and then Cynthia was on the other line, "Oh Finn, I am so so sorry! We left Madison's bag at the dance studio and didn't realize it until she wanted her teddy bear! I told her not to call you but she wouldn't listen."

Finn let out a sigh, he knew damn well Madison couldn't sleep without that teddy bear and it was already getting late so he didn't want Cynthia to have to drag the kids all the way back into the city to the studio. "I'll go get it, can you make sure they eat? I'll try to grab something on the way home."

"Of course. I am so sorry!"

"Cynthia, it's fine! You do so much, forgetting a bag isn't a big deal. I'll be home in a bit, and tell Madi I'll have Mr. Fluffies with me." Finn hung up his phone and quickly looked for the dance studio on his phone's GPS; because honestly, he wasn't sure where it was exactly.

Getting to the dance studio wasn't _as _difficult as he first assumed it would be, but it just reminded me he had yet to go to one of Madison's practices and that practically broke his heart. His daughter was so understanding about him being busy with work, but he still didn't think it was fair. He headed into the building just in time to see one of the instructors getting ready to head out.

"Can I help you?"

"I hope so," Finn said with a small smile, "My daughter left her bag here earlier, and she needs it because her teddy bear is in it and she can't sleep with out it and I was hoping I can grab it?"

The woman pursed her lips before smiling softly, "I'm on my way out, but another dance instructor is still here. If you head up the stairs to the studios you'll be able to find her and she'll be able to help you." She paused and looked him over, "If you weren't wearing that, I'd probably think you were a rapist of something."

Finn looked down and noticed his jacket was open revealing his fire department shirt, "Thanks.. I guess." He watched as the woman headed out before he headed upstairs.

* * *

_I want a divorce. _Why on earth did she ever think that was going to be simple? As soon as the words left her mouth a second time Patrick had just ended up laughing at her. It turned into a full-fledged fight and she tried her hardest not to cry, she really did. He made her know that she'd be nothing without him and basically said she couldn't leave him. She didn't even know what to do, her marriage to Patrick was over and for some reason he wouldn't accept it. Rachel knew very well it wasn't because he was in love with her and couldn't live without her, what was it? Was it the fact he didn't want to publicly go through a divorce? It honestly made no sense to her. Once he left for work, she quickly gathered her stuff and headed down to the studio for her classes and well, she just needed to escape from reality for a while it was honestly the best place to do it.

Throughout her classes and downtime, she tried her best to keep her show face on, act like nothing was going on. And for the most part, she_ was _good at it, but she was broken and tired and just wasn't sure how much longer she could last. No one at her job had any idea things in her marriage were terrible, truthfully they all envied her. If they only knew how things were between her and Patrick lately, the envying would probably stop. She hadn't lied when she said it was all a fantasy. It was the excitement of something new, but it wasn't the right something new, at least not for her. She looked safe for Patrick, but she had a feeling that he was starting to find out she wasn't going to be at his beck and call, no, that wasn't the woman Rachel Berry was raised to be.

Once all the classes were done for the day, Rachel had opted to stay after and just dance. It was the best stress reliever in her eyes. She told them she'd close up, that she didn't know how long she would stay, but she would make sure to close up. Rachel had become so lost in her movements it took her a moment to realize someone had entered the room and were clearing their throat. It came as even more a surprise that the person in question was one Finn Hudson.

"Rachel," he spoke softly, he had felt so bad for interrupting, especially given how mesmerized he was by her dancing, "I uh-,"

"Finn," Rachel reached up to push a few stray pieces of hair behind her ear. Why did she all of a sudden feel like she was back in high school? "What are you doing here?"

"Madison left her bag," he started to explain, "her teddy bear is in it and she can't sleep without it. My mom gave it to her and- the woman said I could come upstairs and that someone was up here and could help me," he paused, "I guess that was you. I don't mean to interrupt."

Giving him a small smile she shook her head, "No need to apologize, really!" she glanced around the room until she saw the bag he must be talking about and walked over to get it, "I remember what it was like to need a stuffed animal to sleep with..." she walked towards him and handed him the bag, "Tell Madison I said hi, okay?"

"Of course, I-," Finn paused as his eyes fell on Rachel's face and he really got a good look at her for the first time since entering the room, "Were you crying?"

"What?" Rachel quickly lifted her hands up and wiped her eyes. Her mascara and eyeliner smudged all over her fingers as she lowered her hand to take a look. Why did she have to cry? She had promised herself she wouldn't, "I uh-, it's nothing."

Raising his eyebrow he stood there a moment before speaking again, "I may have not seen you in years, but I think I knew you well enough to know it's not nothing. Rachel is everything okay?"

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she headed over to the to the window and looked out upon the city, "Do you remember all the dreams I had when we were teenagers?"

Finn nodded slightly, "Yeah. Broadway and all that."

"My dads were _so _proud of me when I won that Tony award, Finn," she reached up and slowly ran her fingers down the glass, "I was so happy that I could _make _them that proud. All I ever wanted to do was make them proud, you know?" she sighed softly and licked her lips, "I think that's what we all want to do, make out parents proud."

"Rachel, did something happen to one of your dads?" his voice was soft, almost scared, "Because if that's the case I am-,"

She quickly shook her head, but didn't bother to turn around and look at him, "They're fine, but I don't think they'd be proud of me if they knew about what my life has become." Letting her eyes close she inhaled sharply, "They were happy when I married Patrick, they liked him well enough.. I mean, I liked him well enough. He made me happy, or at least I thought so." She felt a tear roll down her cheek, but she didn't bother to reach up and wipe it away. "He knew all the right things to say, and I guess there were fireworks. You remember fireworks, right?"

Finn gulped and nodded, "Yeah... fireworks." When Rachel had asked him how he felt when he kissed Quinn. Fireworks. Fireworks were the answer, but looking back at that? He regretted it, not only for hurting Rachel, but for the fact as great as fireworks were, they only lasted for a split second before disappearing.

"Things seemed great at first and I thought I was happy, but it changed.. I tried to focus on other things. When I became pregnant-,"

"Pregnant? I didn't know you had any kids?"

She ignored his statement and kept talking, "It's hard on a marriage you know, a marriage that wasn't perfect to begin with. Two miscarriages and a stillbirth. You try to figure out what you did wrong. Ask why god doesn't want to allow you to bring a child into the world. Giving birth to a child that has already died is soooo _soo_ hard," she sniffled slightly, "It was a little girl, and she- I only saw her for a moment, but she was beautiful I think. She may have already been gone, but she was beautiful and she was mine and- she just was gone," soft sobs began to escape her lips as Finn lowered the bag to the ground and took a few steps towards her. "I just want my little girl back. I would have loved her no matter what, you know? No matter what, but god couldn't give her to me. Maybe he just knew Patrick wasn't meant to be a father- or maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother and-"

"Rachel, shut up- that's not true," he grabbed her shoulder and quickly turned around as he looked down at her tear stained face, "You would have been a great mother, hell, one day you _will _be a great mother. You always had so much love to give and I don't think that's something that would have changed about you."

Rachel stared Finn in the face as she continued to cry, "I hate my husband. I hate him so much! He has made me into this shell of a person.. he won't even give me a divorce!" Rachel pulled back from Finn's grasp and let out a loud scoff, "Oh my god. I am such a pathetic mess!"

"Rach-"

"Don't try to tell me anything different!" she reached up and wiped her eyes, "I'm standing here... telling you all this personal shit when I haven't seen you in years. God, that's just pathetic."

"Rachel, shut up! You're not pathetic, you are sad," he walked over to her and reached up to wipe the tears off her face, "I hate seeing you like this. This was not the girl I once knew, but I know that girl is in there somewhere." Finn didn't know what came over him, because the next thing he knew he was grasp Rachel's face in his hands and his lips were against hers. It took a moment, but he broke the kiss and looked down to see the utterly confused look on Rachel's face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-,"

Before Finn was even able to spit the words out Rachel's lips were on his once against his once again as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their mouths quickly moved together as the room was filled with their small whimpers and harsh breaths. Rachel pulled away slowly and licked her lips, "You need to leave." She pushed her hands against his chest urging him to go.

"Rachel-,"

"No, I'm married.. you need to leave now. That shouldn't have happened. Please leave, Finn." Rachel turned her back to him as she covered her mouth to try to stop the sobs from escaping.

Finn let out a defeated sigh and nodded before going over and picking up Madison's bag and slowly stepping out of the room, "I'm sorry, Rachel. I truly am."

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thoughts? reviews make me happy!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **So I got this chapter done A LOT sooner than I thought I would! I hope you like it. There's a lot of stuff that goes down. Your reviews as always inspire me. Really guys, it makes me so glad you guys love this story so much!

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Madison and Christopher were beyond excited for their day at the zoo. It was all they could talk about from the minute they woke up and he got them dressed for the day. He on the other hand couldn't stop from replaying the events from the night prior in his head. All he wanted to do was go and grab Madi's bag and head home and get a decent night sleep. It wasn't that he was mad that he saw her again, it was just that everything that _happened _was quite unexpected. The woman he saw last night didn't remind him of the Rachel Berry he once knew. No, this woman from last night was so fragile and broken. Sure, Rachel when they were younger had her insecurities and sometimes they broke through the surface and showed how vulnerable she was. However, what he saw last night was a woman he felt had been broken far too many times to count. Part of him honestly felt like she had been keeping everything bottled up inside for so long and finally exploded. This was understandable. What she had said? Her husband. Losing a child. Suffering from miscarriages. He may have no experienced those things exactly, but he could understand the pain she was going through.

What he couldn't understand was why the hell had he kissed her? He really couldn't figure it out. Here she was, breaking down to him, telling him things she probably told no one and there he went kissing her. Wow, he was obviously a real winner. Yet, after he pulled away... she had pulled him back to her for another kiss, a kiss that was quite amazing if you ask him. Okay, sure, him and Rachel weren't strangers, once upon a time they were in love, and part of her would always have his heart. Maybe Quinn realistically was _supposed _to be his first love, but in his eyes and the way he had felt back then, she didn't give him the feelings that Rachel had. Anyway, that was the past, this girl needed a friend and he had taken advantage of that. Yet, at the same time... all he could think about was that kiss. He really needed to stop thinking about and focus on having a good day with his kids at the zoo.

Ever since Gina's death - he tried his hardest to make sure that Madi and Chris had a good childhood. They were still so young and really didn't fully understand what had happened, and everything that came with death. His mother had worked her ass off to raise him right without his father and he was going to do the same for his kids no matter what. He may have never told them enough, but he seriously would have been lost without Kurt and Puck. They were the best uncles those kids had and were always there when Finn needed them. Cynthia was his lifesaver as well. No one could have asked for a better nanny and the fact that Finn and her were able to actually have a semi-decent friendship? It definitely helped.

Pushing himself up from the table, he quickly gathered the now empty cereal bowls and told the kids to go get their shoes so they could head out. With excitement they listened and ran off, yelling one thing or another about what they would see at the zoo once they got there. Just as Finn had begun to rinse the bowls out, a knock came at the door causing him to stop what he was doing. Turning off the water, he wiped his wet hands on the nearest dish towel and went over to answer the door. However, who was on the other side was honestly the last person he would have ever expected.

"Hi," she spoke softly, biting on her bottom lip gently as he looked up at his face.

"Rachel?" Finn raised his eyebrow as the woman who only plagued his thoughts moments before stood in front of him. "What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?"

Taking a deep breath, Rachel tilted her head to the side, "I found Madison's contact information- I know I should have! And it was extremely wrong of me to do that, and you could probably get me fired from the dance school if you want," she was talking a mile a minute, "I just needed to apologize for my behavior last night."

He couldn't help but smile at her, "Rachel, I'm the one that should be apologizing. I-why don't you come inside?" he moved out of the way as she stepped into the loft and he shut the door behind her. "I should be the one apologizing, you were obviously upset and I took advantage by-," Finn looked around before looking back at Rachel and whispering, "kissing you."

"But I was the one that k-i-s-s-e-d you the second time," before Rachel was able to continue speaking she was cut off by Madison's voice entering the room.

"Daddy! Chris can't put his shoes on!" Madison halted when she saw Rachel standing in their apartment, "Miss McGuire!"

Rachel smiled sweetly at the young Hudson girl, "Hi Madison, don't you look pretty today!" It was obviously that they were going somewhere and Rachel instantly felt terrible for interrupting. Quickly turning to Finn, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude if you had plans."

"It's fine," Finn said reassuringly, "We're just getting ready to go to the zoo."

"The zoo?" Rachel turned towards Madison and smiled, "How exciting! What animal are you looking forward to seeing, Madison?"

"The Giraffes! Uncle Puck said that daddy is as big as a baby Giraffe!"

Finn rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Of course he would."

"I love Giraffes! You'll have to tell me all about them next time we have class, okay?"

Madison nodded before smiling brightly, "COME TO THE ZOO WITH US!" Quickly the little girl turned towards her father, "Can she please come, daddy? Please please! It will be fun for me to have a girl with us! You and Chris are boys and smell!"

"Mad-,"

"PLEASE!" Madison ran over to Finn and threw her arms around his leg before looking up at him with her puppy dog eyes, "Please?"

"I uh-," Finn let out a defeated sigh and looked at Rachel, "Do you want to come to the zoo with us?"

"I'm not sure I should," Rachel said unsure.

"Please, Miss McGuire?" Madison asked pouting at her, "Pretty please? You and daddy are friends!"

Rachel smiled sweetly and then looked up at Finn, "Why not."

"YAY!" Madison started to jump up and down and clapped her hands, "Zoo! We're going to the zoo!" she started to dance in the spot she was standing and Rachel couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm guessing she _didn't _get her dance moves from you?"

"Thank god," Finn chuckled, "But I'm pretty sure its because she has a great ballet teacher." Finn

"So, what zoo are we going to?" Rachel asked curiously.

"The Bronx Zoo," Finn answered as he leaned down as Chris entered the room holding his sneakers out. "It's a bit of a trek, but it's bigger and I don't know, I like it better?" Finn just shrugged as he put Chris' shoes on. Standing up, he pulled Chris up and into the air causing him to giggle a little, "Let's get this show on the road."

* * *

She was crazy, absolutely crazy. Not only did she break down and spill her heart out to her high school sweetheart, no, she went on to share not one, but two kisses with him. Sure, that would have been all innocent and all if she wasn't _married. _Not that she wanted to be married anymore, but she shouldn't have allowed that to happen. Then to make matters worse, she couldn't sleep all night because she kept replaying the kiss and everything in her head over and over. She had considered going to Santana's to confess what happened, but once again she just couldn't, no instead she showed up at Finn's house and somehow got convinced by his adorable little girl to go to the zoo with them. A huge part of her knew it was a bad idea, that she should not be spending the day with her high school ex an his kids at the zoo after what took place last night. Yet, the small part that wanted to? It somehow had beat out the larger part.

In all her time living in New York, she had yet to go to the Bronx Zoo. She hadn't even really spent _that _much time at the Central Park either, she had wanted to though, it was just something Patrick never wanted to do. At first she just assumed it was because he was born and raised in New York and it probably didn't exactly have that excitement factor as it did for her. Over time though, she began to realize that Patrick didn't really seem to enjoy _many _things she had suggested for the two of them to do. She was actually kind of excited about it, probably just as much as Madison, but she wasn't going to admit that.

Getting there definitely was a ride, it took about an hour and a half, and Rachel wondered how Finn would have done this on his own? It definitely would have been a handful with trying to get two kids to the Bronx on a subway by himself. However, she was there to help him and he seemed extremely grateful. Giving her small smiles and thanking her a few times, she couldn't help but just smile. As soon as they went inside the kids were ecstatic, and Rachel's hiding her own excitement started to fail immensely.

"Rach," Finn whispered softly so only she could hear, "I'm pretty sure you've had that smile plastered on your face the moment we walked through the gates."

Looking up at him, "Shush!" Rachel playfully hit him on the arm before pulling back quickly and moving her hand to fix her hair, "I'm just having a good time, I've never been here."

He raised his eyebrow before glancing over to Madi and Christopher who were making faces at the gorillas through the glass. "Haven't you lived in New York for like ever now?" Crossing his arms over his chest he glanced at her, "And you've _never _been here?"

Rachel rolled her eyes but couldn't help but blush, "Patrick never wanted to come, and I mean- when I first got here I did the museums and all that, and I went to the Central Park zoo once, but I wasn't there for that long," she shrugged her shoulders, "Patrick never likes to do stuff like this."

Finn inhaled sharply and glanced down at her, "Patrick is your-,"

"Husband."

"Right," Finn nodded, "You mentioned him last night."

"Yeah, Finn I-," Rachel was once again cut off by Madison, but she couldn't be mad about it.

"Miss McGuire look! It's eating it's own vomit! Ewwww" Madison made a disgusted face while Chris just laughed.

Rachel couldn't help but smile as she went over to stand by Madison, "You don't have to call me Miss McGuire, Madison. We're not in dance class, you can call me Rachel."

Madi smiled widely at her, "Okay, Rachel!"

Kneeling down, Rachel started to explain to Madi and half listening Chris what she knew about gorillas, which really wasn't much. Every once in a while she found herself glancing back at Finn and smiling. The more she enjoyed this outing, the more she knew that it wasn't a good idea for her to come. There was nothing wrong with hanging out with an old friend and their kids, right? Okay, so the old friend was her ex, the one who she was absolutely in love with in her youth. And yes, they shared not one, but two kisses. The second much more heated and full of want then the first. Her brain was seriously starting to hurt any time she thought about what was going on. Honestly, she just couldn't think about it, she was thinking _too much _into it.

Finn must have noticed something was bothering her, hell, she was pretty sure he had to know what was on her mind. He continually gave her a reassuring smile and would crack a joke in hopes to make her laugh, which actually did seem to work. As the day progressed, she noticed Madi warming up to her even more, as well as little Chris. A few times he asked her to pick him up, causing Finn to just chuckle and say that he probably had a crush on Rachel. Apparently he was the little 'heart-breaker'.

"He takes after his father," she said teasingly, but realized after how the words could have a double meaning. Looking at Finn's face she frowned slightly before beginning to chew on her bottom lip. However, Finn just cracked a smile and walked ahead as Madison dragged him to see something. She knew that he probably had felt terrible about all the shit that went on between them in high school – because she herself had felt bad over the stupid things she had done to hurt him. Sure, they had gotten passed that, but looking back she still hated some of the choices she had gone ahead and made. Rachel knew she was thinking the worst thing she could ever think. She was thinking she wished her and Finn had never ended.

* * *

The zoo had been exhausting, at least for Madison and Christopher. They were out like a light as soon as they got back to the loft. Rachel coming really had been a godsend, and he couldn't help but thank her numerous times throughout the day. It's not that he couldn't handle his kids - because he could, it was just hard sometimes, especially given how young they were. They had stayed at the zoo the entire day, and by the time they got out, caught the subway, then got into Brooklyn and back to the apartment, yeah, it was bedtime for those kids. Once he got them changed into their pajamas and tucked in, he headed into the living room to find Rachel sitting on the couch flipping through a scrapbook his mother had made for him.

Looking up, she met his gaze and smiled widely, "I hope you don't mind, I grabbed it off the shelf."

"Not at all," he told her before kicking his shoes off and into a corner where the kids wouldn't trip over them tomorrow, "Knock yourself out."

Rachel glanced back down at the current page she was on, running her fingers over it slightly, "Did you make this or your-,"

Quickly he shook his head no, "My mom did, she started going through this _huge scrap-booking_ phase. Seriously, she has made like over 100 scrapbooks since it started."

"Really?" she giggled softly, "That's really sweet. I think it's awesome to have your memories displayed in a book where you can go back and look at them. Remember a reason why you might be smiling and stuff like that," she shrugged slightly before going back to flipping through the pages.

"here, I might have one that will interest you more," Finn made his way over to the bookcase and scanned it a few times till he found what he was looking for. Holding it up to show the front which said 'Finn's High School Memories'. "My mom went through all the pictures she had and that Kurt or I took from high school and put it in this one. Kurt has one too." He went and sat down next to her as he handed her the book. "There's some pictures of glee club and all that stuff."

Once the book was in her hands, Rachel opened it up and started to look through it as Finn watched her. There were photos of Finn just being Finn, photos of him and his mom. Photos when his mom had started to see Burt, which then of course meant photos of Finn and Kurt. Flipping the next page, Rachel took a deep breath and allowed her fingers to graze over the picture in front of her. It was a picture of Finn and Rachel sitting outside during a fourth of July barbeque, huge smiles on their faces. "We look so happy," she whispered softly.

Finn licked his lips and reached over to lift her face to look into her eyes, "We _were_ so happy." In was in that moment he realized _why_ he had kissed her the night before. The way she was looking at him, the way he must have been looking at her. He quickly dropped his hand and looked down at his pants as he took a deep breath.

Pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, Rachel sighed softly and looked back down at the book for a moment, "Thank you for inviting me today," she lifted her gaze again to look at him, "Really.. I haven't had that much fun in_ really _long time."

Gulping, Finn smiled softly, "I'm glad you said yes.. Madison like adores you. You guys are really making me regret having not be able to come to her dance practices yet," he chuckled awkwardly.

"She's a great student, Finn. She really is, and she just- she's so full of life," Rachel told him truthfully as she reached over to put her hand on his. "You will need to come to her recital though... if you don't, I won't talk to you again," she of course was being playful.

Finn leaned in slowly, his lips hovering slightly over hers, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened." Before Rachel had the ability to say anything else, their lips met in a soft kiss. However, the soft kiss soon became a deeper one. Finn's hands came to cup Rachel's face as she shifted to become closer to him, the scrapbooks falling off her lip. It was the first time in so long that Finn had felt alive, and he wondered if Rachel felt the same way. He pulled her into his lap, causing her to straddle his waist as his tongue made it's way into her mouth, soft groans escaping both of them as their tongues met one another.

"Finn," Rachel moaned softly as the kiss break and Finn's lips began to assault her neck. Both of them knew they should stop, but it felt too good to stop. With each passing moment the kissing and touching grew more and more intense. The only whispers were their names escaping one another lips.

Soon enough Finn's hands came up to Rachel's blouse and began to unbutton it, but before he could push it off, he wrapped his arms securely around her waist and stood up. Making his way, quietly as possible, he moved into his bedroom and closed the door before laying Rachel down on his bed. Staring down at her, he watched as her chest raised and fell. Her blouse open, exposing her black lace bra that made him harder than he thought was possible, "You're beautiful."

Rachel sat up on the edge of the bed and began to push Finn's shirt up, urging him to take it off as she began to let her hands roam his chest, which had become even more defined over the years. Once the shirt was one, her lips began to leave soft wet kisses against his abs. Shuddering slightly, Finn pushed her back and climbed onto her as he found her lips again. Slowly, but surely the rest of their clothes made a pile on the floor and Finn was positioning himself between her legs. Looking into her eyes for permission Rachel nodded, "Please.."

Pushing himself into her, they both groaned loudly as all the feelings rushed through their bodies. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, Finn waited a few moments to get accustomed before he began to move in and out of her. The want and need was there, and the slow thrusts began to pick up as Rachel tightened her legs around his waist. "Fuck-," Finn hissed as he threw his head back, "so good."

"harder," she groaned, her moans getting louder causing him to press his lips to hers to quiet her down in order not to wake the kids. "Finn," she moaned against her lips, "Please.. please love me."

"Oh god," he groaned, "I'm not going to last-," he bit her bottom lip as her hips met each thrust, "Come for me, Rach.. please come for me."

There was no going back after this.

* * *

R&R? thoughts? love or hate it?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Oh my god, guys! Thank you for your _amazing _reviews! I'm so glad that so many of you like this story and I do hope you continue to like it!

* * *

The sound of dresses and other articles of clothing could be heard being tossed around the room in the James' home. The last week and a half had almost been unbearable for her. Every single time she closed her eyes she could remember his touches, his kisses, his groans as he was buried deep inside her. It was honestly the first time she had felt so alive in so long? She craved him like she had never craved another. How was it that something so wrong could _feel _so right? That night was spent giving one another to each other over and over again. She had left before the sun came up, telling him it could never happen again. Telling him she could _never _see him again. The problem was she did want to see him again. She wanted to see him so bad that she felt it in her heart. She wanted to be with him again. To kiss him, to feel him in her once again. However, at the same time it was eating her up inside. She had barely spoken to Patrick, but then again it seemed like he was avoiding going home as much as possible. Why couldn't he just give her the damn divorce?

She hadn't told Santana yet, but could she at all? She knew her best friend would be there for her, but how would she even begin to explain what had taken place? San had kept asking her what was wrong, obviously realizing that something _wasn't _right - no matter how hard she tried to hide it. She just hadn't been able to form the words yet, if she'd be able to at all had yet to be discovered. When Santana had asked her to come over and help her pick out a dress for some benefit she jumped at the idea. Normally she would wonder why Santana was asking her since San hated her style. Even though it had improved immensely since their high school days. She just figured Santana wanted to get whatever was bothering her out of her.

Rachel sat in the middle of Santana's bed. Her hair a mess and stringy. When was the last time she had showered? A pair of black leggings and an oversized McKinley Titan's shirt on her. It had been one she had stolen from Finn when they were dating back then. She was surprised Santana didn't scold her the moment she walked in the house. She honestly looked like an overtired, overworked soccer mom or something like that. Hell, no, they actually had a reason to look like that, she just looked looked like hell.

"Hun, I'm not _trying _to sound like a total bitch or anything, but you look like utter shit," Santana only glanced at her for a moment before turning her attention back to her closet.

She began to twirl a strand of her hair between her fingers as she ignored San's statement, no matter how true it was, "Do you think it's possible to fall out of love with someone or does it mean it was never really love to begin with? And do you think people can really love someone forever but not even realize it?"

Santana narrowed her eyes and glanced over at Rachel before picking up a pair of shoes. "What the hell are you squawking on about?"

"I slept with Finn Hudson."

The next sound heard was a pair of shoes hitting the floor followed by a long period of silence. Santana reached up to scratch her nose before turning around fully to look at her, "Please tell me you're joking." However the look on Rachel's face was a dead give away. Sighing, she shook her head, "When did this happen?"

"A week and a half ago," she whispered softly.

"How did it happen?" Santana reached up and pushed a piece of hair out of her face as she placed her hand on her forehead.

"I asked Patrick for a divorce..."

"Oh, baby," Santana quickly made her way over to the bed and grasped Rachel's hands in hers, "What did he say?"

"He wouldn't give me one," Rachel pulled her one hand away to reach up and wipe away a few tears that had chosen to escape, "That night Finn's daughter had left her bag at the studio and he had come to get it –," she paused for a moment, "I broke down to him about Patrick and losing the baby and everything... and then the next thing I know he was kissing me and I was kissing him back." She quickly covered her mouth as she felt as if she could start sobbing any second, "I told to him leave and he tried to apologize... but he left. The next day I went by his place to apologize. He said it was his fault, but it was mine, San. I haven't seen him in so many years and I just break down about my fucking problems? I ended up spending the day with him and his kids and for the first time in a long time I _really _had fun and I was happy."

"Rachel."

Rachel shook her head and continued to speak, "So I don't know... we spend the entire day together and then went back to his apartment and he put the kids to sleep and we were talking you know? And then there were scrapbooks involved and then...," she buried her face in her hands and started to really really cry, "And then it just happened and it felt amazing, San. And then it happened again.. and again and I just didn't want to stop." she lifted her head to look at her best friend, "What the hell is wrong with me? I'm a terrible person! I'm a terrible wife!"

"That is not true," Santana placed her hands on Rachel's shoulders and shook her slightly, "You're a great person, Rachel. And look, this is coming from someone like me! You're a great person, one who happened to have a lot of bad shit happen to her over the last couple of years. You are not a terrible wife. You have always given Patrick the benefit of the doubt and _always _was a good wife. He's the terrible one. He doesn't realize what he has in front of him. If I could, I would chop him up in little bits and throw him in the Hudson River. You have put up with _so _much shit from him. I am shocked that it took you this long to actually ask for a divorce."

Rachel sniffled before smiling a little, "Some days I'm still waiting for you to call me manhands."

Santana pursed her lips before smirking, "Don't tempt me."

"What am I going to do?"

"Do you still want to divorce Patrick?"

She nodded slowly, "I haven't been happy in a long time, but he told me he won't give me a divorce!"

"I'll help you figure it all out, okay? It's definitely going to take some time, but you need to stand your ground, okay?" Rachel nodded and Santana chose to continue, "I have to tell you out of the two of us I always thought I'd be the one that ended up cheating."

"That's not funny, San."

Rolling her eyes, Santana put her hands up in defense, "Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood."

Rachel reached up and pulled her hair up and out of her face, "I know. I know. And I do really appreciate that. I just am so fucking confused and I don't know what to do."

"I have decided to ignore the fact that I am floored at the fact you've said fuck more than once today," her best friend told her with a smirk, "But I need to ask... are you still in love with Finnocence?"

"Santana!"

"What? It's a legit question! I mean you fucked the dude more than once in a single night! And you're you.. you don't _do _those things. So you must've felt something for him."

"Must you always been so crude?"

"It's a gift," she said with a smirk, "Do you want to see him again?"

Rachel groaned loudly as she fell back against the pillows, "No... I don't know... maybe... yes... God, I want to see him _so _bad."

"I wish I knew what to tell you, but I feel like you _may _need to talk about it," she paused for a moment and groaned, "I can't believe I am about to say this, but make sure to talk about it... with your clothes still on!"

"I can't."

"You can't keep your clothes on? When did you become such a vixen?"

Rachel leaned up slightly to smack Santana on the arm, "No! I meant I can't see him no matter how much I want to. I am married."

"But you're getting a divorce."

"it Patrick EVER gives me one. I just can't see him... at least not right now."

"Well of course not right now," Santana leaned in slightly and scrunched up her face, "I mean you smell like rotten cheese and gym socks."

"I hate you."

"No you don't, you love me!"

Rachel rolled over and buried her face in the pillow. What the fuck was she going to do? Finn was probably mad at her and had no intentions of speaking to her ever again. She just wanted to bury her head in the sand and never come up.

* * *

How did it happen? Okay, he knew _how _it happened. Why did he let it happen was probably the better question. He was supposed to be smarter than this. There was no regret though, none whatsoever. If he was being honest with himself, it was probably one of the first times he had ever truly felt alive. He had loved Gina, but it was evident they were too different, and if it weren't for the Madi and Chris they probably would have ended up divorcing eventually. Of course he hated to admit that, but it was probably the truth. He liked to remember the happy memories though. Keep her memory alive for their kids. Everyone had kept telling him to start trying to move on, that he was still young. It was humorous that when he finally has sex again for the first time since Gina's passing it's with a married woman. And not just any married woman, but Rachel Berry er – McGuire.

He wanted to see her, but she had made herself clear when she had left his apartment that night that simply could not happen. She had to be confused, heck he was confused beyond belief. He had considered going down to the dance stupid to try to talk to her, but figured the best thing to do was to give her time. And well, he actually had no _other _way to reach her. They didn't really trade numbers between taking off their clothes and her leaving his apartment in a hurry. Why did this shit have to be so complicated? He had been his hardest to keep his mind off of her. The kids, work, bills, friends, he was trying his best to occupy his time and it was working for the most part.

Kurt had taken the kids for a much needed bonding weekend with Uncle Kurt as he called it. Finn knew very well that meant the kids would be coming home with far too many new clothes and toys. He had tried to argue with Kurt about it in the past, but it was a losing battle on his end. He had gotten off of work early that morning and after a much needed nap he headed over to Puck's bar before the crowds started to pour in. He hadn't brought up Rachel to him since they had run into her that one day, and he didn't really have any intentions to anytime soon. It was just too complicated and Puck wouldn't have made it any better."

"Dude, do you work tonight? I hope not," Puck asked as he began to put away the clean glasses behind the bar.

"Huh?" Finn narrowed his eyes as he stared at him, shaking his head a moment later, "No, I don't. Why?"

"Because you seem to be in your own world tonight. Definitely wouldn't want the likes if you trying to save my life if she had to go on a call or something."

Finn rolled his eyes, "Shut up."

"You Finn Hudson are one hard man to track down," a voice said causing both Finn and Puck to turn and look at the entrance. Santana walked towards where Finn was sitting at the bar, "I ran around far too much of my liking to find you."

"Look what the cat dragged in. Santana Lopez, never expected to see you again so soon," Puck stated with a huge smirk.

"Santana James," she corrected as she slipped her sunglasses off and threw her purse up on the bar top before turning to look at Finn, "And the pleasure is definitely not mine, Puckerman."

Finn just shook his head and turned to look face her, "Why were you trying to find me?"

"Don't play dumb, Finnocence. You know _very _well why I'm here."

Sighing softly, Finn spoke in a low tone which caused Puck to raise his eyebrow, "She told you?"

"I think it's a little hard to keep the fact you cheated on your husband for the first time ever by sleeping with your high school boyfriend from your best friend," she stated in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"What!" Puck yelled, but both Finn and Santana ignored him.

"How is she?"

"A wreck," she told him nodding. Never in his life did he ever expect Rachel and Santana to be best friends, but apparently that's exactly what had happened. "You need to go see her, but please keep it in your pants this time. She's not divorced yet."

"It's a bad idea... I mean-," he paused as her words sunk in, "yet?"

"Finn, do you honestly think she would have done that if she was head over heels for her husband? You may have gotten better looking, but you're not _that _great." She paused for a minute, "She's been miserable for a long time. And from what I hear how she broke down to you, I think you can agree with me there." Crossing her arms she tapped her foot impatiently, "She had already asked Patrick for a divorce before all this happened... he just won't give her one."

Thinking back to the night at the studio, she had said that. God, how could he had forgotten that one detail? Did it lessen his guilt? Not really. He still didn't regret what took place though, "Oh."

"Oh?" Santana groaned as she placed her hand on her forehead and shook her head, "Men."

"What are you two talking about!" Once again Puck was ignored.

"You two need to discuss what happened. Especially since your daughter is in her dance class."

"It's not a good idea-," Finn was cut off abruptly as Santana's hand came across his cheek, "What the hell! Why the fuck did you just smack me."

"Listen to me, Finn Hudson. And listen hard," she poked him in the chest, "I could kill you for what took place. Did you not see how vulnerable she was? Yes, I know some of the fault is on her, but still. I could kill you. I don't care if it's not a good idea.. it needs to happen. It can't happen again, but don't fucking break her heart or I _will _kill you and Puckerman here knows I ain't lying."

"But her husband..."

"is a lying scumbag who cheats on her and belittles her any chance he gets!" Santana said in a snarky tone, "he left on a business trip for the next two weeks this morning. She's home at the apartment." Santana turned to look at Puck who was staring at them confused, "Give me a damn napkin and a pen, boy." Once they were in her possession she wrote something down and shoved it in front of Finn, "This is her address.. you better go." She reached over and grabbed Finn's beer and finished it all in a gulp, "have a good day. I have to go get a a facial."

Finn watched Santana leave before turning his attention to the address in front of him, "fuck."

Puck shook his head, "Dude... you fucking slept with Berry?"

Groaning he nodded, "Yes."

"Never thought it was in you to get someone to cheat on their spouse... wait, you did with Quinn that time."

"Don't fucking bring that shit up. I was 17.."

"And now you're not.. You are_ so _fucked dude."

"I know," Finn groaned and buried his head in his hands.

* * *

Ever since she broke down and told Santana a couple days prior she had been desperately trying to move passed what happened and focus on the here and now. Patrick had come to her telling her he would he heading out of town Saturday morning and would be gone for two weeks. She had once again _tried_ to bring up the idea of divorce, but he wasn't seeming to have it. She was far from happy, even before the whole thing happened with Finn. Continually trying to turn a blind eye to things wasn't working anymore – she couldn't keep being this weakling, it wasn't her! She wondered if maybe it was a good idea to start with separation. Maybe he'd agree and then she could make him realize a divorce was a good idea? It didn't make sense though, the fact that he didn't seem to even _want _to be married to her or even loved her, but wouldn't give her a divorce? Was it really _that _bad for him? Would his mother rally be that mad? God, how she actually yearned for all the complications of high school – because compared to this... they were a lot easier to understand at times.

Two weeks without Patrick actually sounded wonderful, she'd be able to actually have a good night sleep for once. She'd be able to just relax and not worry about him stressing her out. Of course, that was also two weeks alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts that continued to center around Finn. She had thought a shower would help, but it only made it easier for the thoughts to come back. And of course, as the water slid down her body all she could think about was his hands on her. The way she arched into his touch as he slid inside her, claimed her as his for the time being. She find herself sliding her hand down her body, feeling the wetness that pooled there that was _not _from the shower. This wasn't something she did. Touch herself that was, but there she was in her shower trying to get herself off to the thought of one Finn Hudson. God she was fucked.

Deciding to shave her legs before she got out of the shower had been a terrible idea. The girl who usually did a perfect job nicked herself pretty deep causing herself to bleed. Wrapping a towel around her body, she climbed out of the shower and began to look around for the alcohol and band-aids. Of course she couldn't find the alcohol because Patrick _never _put things back where they were supposed to go. She was hopping down the the hallway, knowing he probably put it back in the small bathroom in the hall. However, before she got there a knock came at the door.

Raising her eyebrow, Rachel tightened her towel around her body and made her way over. Maybe it was a delivery? Or god, Patrick's mother coming to check up on her, "Coming!" when she threw open the door she squeaked as she saw Finn standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought we could-," Finn began, but paused as his eyes raked over her body covered by this skimpy towel, "uh.. do you usually answer the door like this?"

"No, I would have gotten dress, but-,"

His eyes continued to travel down her body until he noticed the blood, "Rachel you're bleeding!"

"I know, I cut myself shaving and was going to try to find the alcohol," she said with a sigh.

"Here, let me help you," he stepped inside and shut the door behind him as he motioned for her to lean on him, "Where should we go?"

Sighing, Rachel pointed towards the bedroom, she hadn't bothered to bring the band-aids with her. Once Finn had her sitting on the edge of the bed she asked him to go into the other bathroom and find the bottle of alcohol in the medicine cabinet, "It should be there-," she called out to him, "on like.. the third shelf."

"Got it!" He came back into the bedroom and held the bottle up, giving it a little shake. "Nice, uh place you got here."

"I love it," she sighed softly as she watched Finn kneel in front of her, "Patrick hates it."

He nodded as he began to use the bunched up toilet paper she had brought it to clean the cut, "This isn't too bad.. I think you'll be fine."

"Finn?"

He looked up at her for a moment, "Yeah?"

"Why-," she paused for a moment as she stared in his face. God, this was torture to her, "Why are you here?"

"I thought we could talk," he gulped, her being in a towel probably didn't help the talking process. He cleaned the rest of the cut and reached up to grab the box of band-aids. "I'm sorry for the other night, I never meant to take advantage of you, Rach."

"Don't be," she sighed, "It was amazing, Finn. I can't lie..."

He kept his hands on her leg as he nodded, "It really was... but it was wrong. I shouldn't have done that.. I'm terrible."

"No, no, you're amazing. I'm sorry for laying all my problems on you. I shouldn't have showed up at your house."

He licked his lips, "But I was glad you did..." he began to slowly rub his fingers over her skin.

Rachel bit down on her bottom lip as his touch gave her goosebumps. She knew she should be kicking him out of the apartment and getting just, but she couldn't find it in herself to do it, "It just... happened and we need to pretend like it didn't and move passed it."

"Pretend like it didn't happen?" He raised his eyebrow, "I can't fucking do that, Rachel. Can you?"

She closed her eyes and couldn't stop herself from allowing her legs to part slightly, "No.. I can't."

Finn took a deep breath as he let his hand slid up her thigh. Who cared how wrong it was in that minute, his hands on her skin were heaven. He slipped his hand between her leg and groaned before sliding his fingers between her fingers, "You're so wet."

Rachel whimpered as she parted her legs even more and leaned back on her elbows. All rational thought leaving her head as Finn slid a finger into her causing her to gasp. She wanted to scream 'fuck consequences, fuck me.' Soon enough a second finger joined the first and she let her head fall back as she began to move against his fingers, "Finn," she moaned. They hadn't done this last time. No, there had been no foreplay.

Soon his tongue joined his fingers and he began to work on her clit as the towel began to fall back from her body revealing her in all her glory. "Oh god," he moaned against her, "You taste sooo fucking good. I don't want to stop."

"Don't- god," she arched up as she began to move against his tongue and fingers, "don't stop.. oh god, Finn." However, a few moments later he did and she whimpered, but as she opened her eyes to look up she knew why. Finn was tearing his clothes from his body and urging her to move further up onto the bed as he crawled on top of her.

"What do you want, Rach? Tell me what you want."

She parted her legs for him to settle between as she brought her hands to his back, "I want you to fuck me, please fuck me, Finn." He slammed into her causing her to groan. This wasn't gentle and slow. No, this was going to be hard and fast.

He grabbed her leg and tossed it around his waist as he moved in and out of her, groaning as they met each others thrust, "You are sooo fucking tight, baby."

"Finn," she groaned, her nails raking down his back.

He reaches between them to rub her clit, "Does he make you feel like this?"

When the words hit her ears shes not sure what to say, but she doesn't stop her movements. She just needs to tell the truth. Groaning she shakes her head, "No... never.. only you... only you. Oh god, I'm so- so- close."

"Come for me, Rach," he growls before pressing his lips to her, "I want to feel you come around me."

The words are her undoing and Rachel falls over the edge, riding out her orgasm as Finn follows her a few thrusts later. "Oh god," she says clinging to him as he collapses on top of her. Their bodies slick with sweat. She clung to him as she began to cry, there was no way she was going to be able to stop seeing Finn.

* * *

R&R? Love or hate? Thoughts?

xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Holy hell April went by super fast! Thank you guys for all your amazing reviews! I'd love to know what you guys would love to see happen next, or even what you just hope will happen next!

* * *

Some situations weren't exactly easy to explain, and sometimes, just sometimes those situations needed to stay between only a few people. Of course it didn't exactly help that he himself couldn't make odds and ends of the given situation he was currently in. Licking his lips he turned his head and gazed down at the sleeping figure nestled into his side. It had been about four months since all this had officially started and he couldn't help but feel both happy and guilty all at the same time. He loved when he was with her, the special moments they were able to share. Yet afterward all he could think about was the fact he was the other man. He knew she wasn't trying to make it difficult and that she was just as confused as he was. He avoided bringing up her husband at all times. Hell, sometimes he really wanted to know if she even intended on getting a divorce, but he just kept his mouth shut. He knew it would eventually need to be a topic that would have to be discussed.

He began to run his fingers up and down her spine causing her to stir slightly, but not enough to wake her up just yet. They had another three hours before either of them had to go anywhere. Ever since everything started they'd either end up meeting at his place when it was empty or at a hotel, they rarely ever met at her place. It actually felt really weird to get a hotel for a few hours, like he was paying her for sex or something like that. He just tried his absolute hardest not to think too much into it, he just wanted to enjoy the moments they had together – no matter the consequences. He lived to see her smile, a smile he liked to believe was for him and him alone.

Letting a long sigh escape, Finn pressed his lips to Rachel's forehead before slipping from her grasp and sitting up. He ran his hand over his face and closed his eyes as he thought about everything. He knew he was investing too much of himself in this, but he just couldn't turn around at the same time. He was the one who had made the first moves knowing very well she was married. Now he was months into this and he didn't want out, but he wanted it to go further. Was that even a possibility?

He lifted his head slowly when he felt two small arms wrap around his torso followed by two soft lips pressing against his shoulder blade. "Hi," she whispered as she nuzzled her face into his neck.

Smiling, Finn lifted one of her hands and brought it to his mouth for a kiss, "How'd you sleep?"

"Perfect," she smiled, a hint of sweetness in her voice, "Then again, I'm starting to realize that I always sleep perfectly when I sleep next to you."

He turned his face towards her and gave her a lopsided grin, "Then you should sleep next to me more often."

Leaning in, Rachel pressed her lips against his for a moment before sighing softly, "I wish."

"It doesn't have to be only a wish, Rach."

"Finn," she began softly, "If it were only that easy."

"It could be if you fucking left him," he muttered under his breath, "Are you sleeping with him?"

"Excuse me?" Rachel raised her eyebrows and stared at him in shock as she backed away from his body just slightly.

"You heard me, Rach," he groaned.

"No, Finn!" Rachel wrapped the sheet around herself and began to get up from the bed, "I told you this already! Do you really think that I would lie to you?"

"You lie to him," Finn knew he was going to regret all of this later, actually he was starting to regret all of it at that current moment, "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that."

Rachel stared down at him, a look of sadness on her features, "But you said it."

"It's just frustrating, you know?" he ran his hands over his face and sighed as his shoulders slumped.

"You don't think it's frustrating for me!" she held the sheet tightly around her petite frame as she glared at him. "He won't even talk to me when I try to bring up the possibility of divorce or even separation!"

Finn lifted his head and stared at her, "Do you even _want _to be with me or is this whole me being the guy on the side that thrilling for you?"

Rachel didn't say anything, not at first anyway. It was obvious that his words were hurting her. It wasn't like Finn was asking for forever, they were two grown adults now, no longer high schoolers. It just wasn't fair to him to be left in the dark over what was going on. The only time he had ever done _anything _similar to this was when he and Quinn made out in high school and got mono while she had been dating Sam. And well, the kisses he had shared with Rachel while dating Quinn. That was his adolescence years though, now he was an adult. A father of two impressionable young children. He wasn't supposed to condone shit like this, but at the same time he was selfish. He remembered how painful it had been when Rachel only _kissed _Puck. Oddly enough, it had hurt a hell of a lot more than it had when Quinn slept with Puck, got pregnant and tried to make him believe he was the father. He hated cheating, hated it so much, but here he was getting Rachel to have an affair with him. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't he just walk away. Four months in and he just didn't want to end things no matter how fucked up the situation was.

"I- I should leave."

Rachel's voice pulled Finn out of his thoughts and he stared up at her, "No, Rach—"

She shook her head and licked her lips, she was trying her hardest _not _to cry, "i should.. obviously this isn't working."

"Wait a minute," he stood up, not even caring he was naked, "Are you fucking ending things with me?"

"I don't know..." she whispered softly.

"Unbelievable! You can't end it with your husband but you can end it with me like _that._"

Rachel narrowed her eyes as she glared at him, "Excuse me? Don't you dare pin this on me, Finn Hudson." She reached out and poked him in the chest with her finger, "You're the one obviously not happy in this situation, I am just _trying _to make it easier for you."

"How the fuck is this making it easier for me, Rach?" he groaned as he reached up and snatched her wrist to get her to stop poking him, it was starting to hurt, "Stop that! I don't want to end things, Rachel. I want to actually be with you! Haven't I proved that over the last four months?"

"Yeah right, you just like the sex."

"What the fuck is wrong with you! This is more than just sex for me!"

"I can't do this right now!"

He scoffed as he backed away from her and went over to grab his boxers from the floor, "You obviously can't do it ever!"

"Whatever!" she shut her eyes as a stray tear escaped, "I'll get out of your hair."

"oh don't bother," Finn then began to throw on his pants and shirt, not even bothering to button his pants as he looked for his socks and shoes and picked them up, "You stay, I'll leave." He walked towards her, looked at her which such an annoyance, "Have fun with your husband."

"Fuck you," Rachel whimpered and with that Finn stormed out of the hotel room.

* * *

She had stayed in the hotel room the rest of the afternoon, even to the point where she had called her voice lessons for the day and said she was sick. Obviously she wasn't sick, but she was just distraught beyond belief. She was trying to tell herself that maybe her and Finn ending it was for the best, but she knew that wasn't true. Okay, realistically it _was _true since she was still married to Patrick, but emotionally it wasn't. She cared too much about Finn, and she knew that she cared about him more than Patrick. Hell, she knew even before this (although she hadn't admitted it then) that her and Patrick never really loved each other. It was the idea of love that is what got her. The idea that someone like him had fallen for her in the city she had always dreamed of going to. And for him? Well Rachel clearly had been the ideal candidate. She had listened to so much that he had said that she began to lose herself. As she thought back throughout the relationship as soon as they were married he had began to be a different person. Perhaps that was really the true Patrick all along.

She was angry at Finn, but she was also angry at herself. She knew he was just frustrated and she wasn't making it any better. Her still not being divorce or even separated from Patrick yet obviously looked bad, but it wasn't like she didn't try. He was barely around anymore. And if he was he usually crashed on the couch. It was clear to her husband things weren't working out with them, but why wouldn't he just give her what she wanted? With Patrick she felt like she wasn't being her true self, and it took Finn coming back into her life to really realize that. Sure, Santana had made hints to it, but Rachel felt like aside from when they were around each other they weren't themselves. Rachel didn't put on an act exactly, it was just she let these people make her feel shy and unlike herself.

It had been so tempting to just stay at the hotel room and not go back to the apartment, but she knew she needed to. Not because she wanted to see Patrick or anything like that – she was sincerely hoping he wouldn't even be there. Which thankfully when she walked through the front door her dream had come true. Him rarely being around the apartment lately was making this both easy and difficult at the same time. Easy because she didn't have to deal with him, difficult because she knew that they needed to talk. She had debated calling him to ask him to come home so they could talk, but it be her luck that he'd end up being drunk when he arrived. Besides, she was pretty sure he was at some girls house and although she no longer loved him, she didn't exactly want to know. What would he do if he knew she was with Finn? She was such a terrible wife, who does these things?

After a nice long bath (most of which she cried over the fight she had with Finn), she poured herself a glass of wine and settled down on the couch with a book. Every so often she would glance at her phone and frown at the fact Finn hadn't tried to text or call her. Sure, she had a couple missed calls from Santana, but she just couldn't talk to her right now. Santana had no idea about her and Finn, although Rachel felt like Santana had an assumption about it. She knew if Santana flat out asked her she would have to tell her. Maybe she should just tell her in general? It was all so difficult.

As she continued to read the book she tried her hardest not to keep glancing at her phone, but it was so hard not to. Finally giving it, she dialed Finn's number and listened to the ring tone on the other end. Patrick never really cared about who she talked to, so she never worried about calling Finn. Usually it was more so him texting her and her calling him. Maybe that was why this was so easy? Patrick didn't care. It wasn't like he was exactly a caring husband. Not that Rachel was saying cheating was the way to go when you're in an unhappy relationship. When it went straight to voicemail she let out a groan and shut off her phone, deciding it was the best idea so she wouldn't be let down anymore than she had been already.

Rachel had dozed off somewhere between Chapter 12 of her book and woke up in a daze. Looking over at the clock on the mantle she saw that it was almost 1 am. Closing the book, not even bothering to pour her glass of wine out, she headed into the bedroom and pulled back the covers and climbed in. From the looks of it Patrick hadn't bothered to come home, or at least she thought so. She had ended up falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but when she woke up again it wasn't because it was morning. She felt a hand on her thigh and she tried to shrug it off.

"Stop it," she said in a yawn, not opening her eyes. They didn't stop though, and even in her sleepy state she knew that hand wasn't Finn's but Patrick's, "Stop it." She rolled away from his grasp and onto her side.

"Rachel," Patrick slurred, "Don't you pull away from me.. I'm your husband."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes, "Yeah, because you won't give me a damn divorce."

"You should be _glad _I won't divorce you," he put his hand on her hip, which she tried to shake off, "I mean.. do you actually expect anyone else will want you?" He lowered his head to her ear, "You're a washed up has been who has had two miscarriages and a stillbirth. That's not exactly every man's dream girl."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to cry anymore today, "Just please go back to the couch. Where you _sleep_!"

"I think I want to sleep in here tonight," he said with a chuckle as he let his fingers travel up and down her arm. It caused her to shiver, but not in a pleasant way. "Oh Rachel," he moved his hand down to rest on her hip before slowly moving over to touch her over her pajama pants.

"Don't fucking touch me," she smacked his hand, but apparently that didn't stop her.

"What? Do I not turn you on?" He sat up and grabbed Rachel roughly pushing her on her back as he hovered over her, "You turn me on," he pushed his erection between her legs, but didn't look to impressed when Rachel didn't react.

"You're drunk, please get off of me, Patrick." When she saw he was leaning down to kiss her he quickly turned his head to the side causing him to come into contact with her cheek.

"No," he growled through his teeth as he pushed his pelvis into her once again.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled as her hand came into contact with his cheek causing him to roll off of her and groan.

"You fucking bitch!"

Rachel pulled herself out of bed while he was still down and quickly went into the front hall. Pulling on the first pair of shoes she saw and grabbing a jacket and purse she made her way out of the apartment. Once the door closed, she leaned against it and cried.

What the fuck had just happen?

* * *

He had been so fucking pissed off when he came home, that he had scared his kids with the slamming of the door. He of course quickly apologized and said he had hit his elbow and it really hurt. Okay, it was a pretty lame excuse, but it was pretty much the first thing that came to his mind. He knew damn well he shouldn't have said anything to Rachel, but he had been so frustrated. The big problem was even though he stormed out of the hotel room, Finn knew _very _well he wouldn't be able to end things like that. No, he had invested far too much of his heart in this. Why did he do that? Why did he let himself fall for Rachel all over again? It was always like this. Maybe she always had his heart and being around him just awoken the feelings that laid dormant.

Finn had tried his hardest to not let on to the kids he was in a sour mood, although he had a feeling Madison could tell. His daughter was way too smart for her age he sometimes thought. He had let the kids watch a Disney movie on their choosing and while seeing on the couch, Madison climbed up next to him, pressed a kiss to his cheek and snuggled into him. A small whisper of 'I love you, daddy' escaping her lips. He had heard his cellphone start ringing just as the dalmatians were rolling in the soot to trick Cruella De Vil and her minions. Seeing Rachel's name flash across the screen only caused him to sigh and he quickly hit ignore. He just couldn't deal with this right now. Maybe later, but not right now.

When Madison asked who it was, he just smiled and said wrong number. Once the movie was over he quickly put the kids to bed and grabbed himself a beer. It was his turn to watch something. Of course nothing was on and for a moment he even considered watching porn, which was something he didn't normally do. Shaking his head of the idea, he shut the television off, finished off his beer and headed into his bedroom to try and sleep.

The pounding on the front door quickly woke him up, and he started to curse as he pulled himself out of bed and looked at the clock. It was almost 2 am, who the fuck would be pounding on his door at 2 am? If it was Puck he was going to punch him in the face, no lie. He checked on the kids quickly and let out a sigh of relief when he noticed they were still asleep. Closing their door gently he headed towards the front door and groaned as the knocking continued, "hold on a fucking minute," he growled through his teeth, "I'm coming." As Finn unlocked the door and pulled it open he came face to face with a soaking wet Rachel, and even amongst the rain he could see she had been crying.

"I forgot my phone and -," she hiccuped, "I didn't know where else to go. I know you're probably still mad at m-,"

Finn quickly cut Rachel off as he cupped her face and pressed his lips to her. He didn't care if he was still mad at her, seeing her standing at his doorstep wet from the rain and crying, he just knew he couldn't not be with her. "I'm not mad... Okay, maybe a little.." He held her tightly as he pulled her into the apartment and shut the door.

"I am so so sorry, Finn," she whimpered as she buried her face into his chest and shivered.

"Baby, you're wearing practically nothing," he took a step back and looked at her. Her coat was hanging open revealing her pajamas under it it, and on her feet were rain boots.

"I know, I just- he scared me and I needed to get out of there."

Finn's face hardened at her words, "What do you mean he _scared _you?"

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment as she took a deep breath, "He was drunk and got into bed with me and was trying to touch me and then he like pushed me down on the bed and wanted us to have sex. And he tried to kiss me but I turned away and he started saying that I should be glad he wouldn't divorce me because no one else would want me because I can't have kids and - I smacked him and ran out of there."

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" Finn went over and pulled his jacket off the coat rack causing the whole thing to come crashing to the ground.

"Don't!" Rachel went over and put her hands on his back to try to calm him down, "he's not worth it."

He reached up and pitched the bridge of his nose before turning around to look at her, "Did you not hear what you just said, Rach? He was forcing himself onto you."

"He was drunk."

"I don't fucking care if he's legally still your husband, you do not make excuses for him." He reached over and cupped her face, "I love you, and if he touches you again I will fucking murder him."

"Yo—you love me?" she looked up at him shocked.

Finn hadn't even realized he had said it, but he knew that's how he felt, "I've never stopped, Rach."

She leaned up and kissed him softly, "I love you, too.. when he touched me all I could think about how I only want you touching me. I want the divorce, Finn. I want to be able to move forward with you."

"We'll figure it out, Rach," he pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head, "Tomorrow we'll start figuring everything out."

* * *

Thoughts? Love? Like? Hate?

What will happen next?


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** First off I want to apologize for not having updated this in months. I have not given up on my stories, especially not this one. A lot of shit has been going on and well, life has been busy as can be. So thank you all for still loving the story and I promise that I am not abandoning it!

* * *

Everyday another one of his belongings was gone, and it was almost like she could breathe a little more. The separation was real, and as much as he seemed to dislike it, he had come to accept it in his own terms from what she could tell. The road to divorce was getting shorter, and she was ecstatic, maybe that made her a bad person, but she had tried her hardest. There was only so long someone can stay unhappy before reaching a breaking point. She hated to admit it, but part of her wondered if she ever truly loved him, or did she just love the idea of _being_ in love with him? Having only had a couple of boyfriends in her life, one that she didn't exactly even know if she could count, well, she wasn't precisely sure what she had been looking for when it came to love in New York. Jesse had been a fluke in high school. He was her complete opposite on so many levels, the one who you would think she would be perfect with. However, no matter how much she tried to deny it - her heart was Finn's. Their high school relationship was definitely not one that could be considered perfect. They unquestionably had their fair share of ups and downs, and to other people maybe it wasn't worth it, but to Rachel, Finn had been worth it. Parting ways after high school had been hard, extremely hard, but she knew he would always be a part of her. What she hadn't imagined was that he would come back into her life, and she would realize that she had never stopped loving him.

She had been unhappy with Patrick for a long time, and having suffered two miscarriages and a stillbirth did not help. It was those times when she saw that Patrick wasn't too affected like she was. Sure, he may have told her they could try again, but did he care? Did he only want a child to please his mother? All these questions often plagued Rachel's mind, and now that the marriage was coming to an end, she knew they held a huge part of why things had come crashing down. Granted, Rachel firmly believed that even if that all had not transpired the two would have eventually fallen apart. While she wasn't sure, she was truly ever in love with Patrick, she had a pretty strong feeling that Patrick never loved her. He was the type of guy who was charming on the outside, but inside? He was not the same at all. He would be married again before they knew it, his mother would make sure of that. It was all about image with that family, and for some reason her mother-in-law had assumed she would be perfect for that, clearly they were wrong. On the other hand, perhaps Rachel was just Patrick's act of rebellion? These were questions she'd never have an answer for and well, that was all right with her.

She watched as he headed down the hallway with a box in his hand, informing her he'd be by again tomorrow to pick something up. Rachel had only nodded and told him if she wasn't home he could let himself in. While she had full intentions of changing the locks, she figured she'd wait until the rest of his stuff was out. She had avoided telling him she was actually going away for the weekend. Then again, she avoided telling everyone that. She just said she had plans, and no one asked questions. Closing the front door, she headed back to the bedroom and pulled out her luggage that she had shoved into the closet when Patrick had stopped by. The last thing she needed was his questioning, especially given the fact she was going away with another man. Not that Patrick knew of Finn at all. As much as she loved Finn still after all this time, she wasn't proud of her infidelity. However, she was drawn to that man, and she just wasn't able to not be with him.

When a knock came at the front door, all she could do was groan, expecting it to be Patrick having forgotten something. Which, of course, she would have simply informed him that he was coming back the following day so why couldn't he just wait. However, instead she was pleasantly surprised to see Finn standing there. "Hey, babe," he gave her a crooked smile before leaning in and capturing her lips in a quick kiss.

As much as Rachel did not want the kiss to end, she knew that doing it in the open was not the best idea, and she quickly pulled away. "Hi," she smiled back and motioned for him to come inside before closing the door, "I didn't expect you so soon. I actually thought you were Patrick coming back."

"Oh man, I missed him?" Finn rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Rachel's waist and followed her into the bedroom. Plopping down on the bed, he leaned back and smiled, "is this a new bed set?"

Shoving something into her bag, she looked over at him and nodded. As weird as it was, Rachel had decided to buy a new bed set once Patrick left was a good idea. A fresh start without any reminders of him, well at least in the bed. "Yes, I just.. thought I needed to change things up. I am actually considering painting," she chewed on her bottom lip as she looked around the bedroom.

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Finn pulled Rachel into his lap causing her to squeak, "Why don't we break them in?" he gave her an eyebrow waggle and all she could do was laugh.

"Finn!" she pulled out of his grasp and went back to packing, "I'm not sure she can 'break in' a bedspread," all she could do was giggle and shake her head. As much as Finn had grown up and matured, there were still signs of that young boy he used to be still in there. "Shouldn't we be heading out anyway?"

"But the idea of you naked right now seems so amazing in my eyes, baby," he smirked as he reached for her hand to tug her back, but Rachel was not having it. "Fine, fine. Let's hit the road and then I can get you naked in the hotel."

A soft blush arose on her features as she zipped up her bag and threw her arms around his neck, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For waiting for me. I know it has been hard the last couple of months and so unfair to you and-," However, before Rachel could even finish what she was saying she was cut off by Finn's lips crashing onto her own. She knew that they should be heading out, especially since she was still weary about Finn and her spending more time than needed in her apartment until after everything would be said and done. Never the less, instead of pulling away, she found herself wrapping her arms around his neck and deepening the kiss. "Finn," she whispered softly as she finally finding the strength to pull away.

"Wha-" he leaned in again, but Rachel pressed firmly against his chest and took a step back, leaving Finn with a look of confusion on his face.

Blushing softly, she reached up to push some hair out of her face and smiled, "Shouldn't we be hitting the road? Don't want to hit traffic now do we?" Finn rarely used his car, leaving it mostly for the nanny, since a great deal of time it was a hassle to even try to drive around the city and taxis had the ability to work just fine. However, for their little getaway, he knew he was going to need to use it. "Besides, I'm kind of excited for our little road trip. It's been a while since I've been in the passenger seat of a car."

"Fine, fine," he told her with a smirk as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head, "But I can't wait until we get to the hotel room."

* * *

When Rachel had informed of that the separation was happening, and Patrick had finally accepted it? He had been ecstatic. He knew on some level they were probably terrible people for being so happy about this, but he loved Rachel, and he hated seeing how miserable Patrick had made her. She had been through so much and it pained him to know that her husband hadn't even cared, not that he ever really raised his voice on that subject. Talking about her soon-to-be over marriage wasn't at the top of his list. He was there for her to talk to, but he didn't want to pry about Patrick. He did however still want to kick that fucker's ass for having tried to force himself on Rachel that night. It was after then that Rachel knew she couldn't even let him believe she was wanting to mend things, and well, he was just going to be there for her.

He knew that soon enough she was officially going to be out of the marriage, and the two of them could formally start being a couple. Things were still very low-key, especially given Rachel was married to someone who was a little more in the public eye because of his family. It was one of the main reasons he had suggested them getting out of town for the weekend. He hadn't wanted to lie to his family, he had informed them he was going away with the girl he had been seeing. Kurt, who had often tried to pry kept begging Finn to meet this mysterious woman, but he had continually denied his brother's request. It was up to Rachel when they could start telling people in his eyes. He knew she wasn't ashamed to be with him, there was just a lot of stuff they still needed to figure out. Somehow, Kurt had just assumed that Finn was seeing a sister of one of his friends down at the firehouse, since on more than one occasion the guys had indeed tried to hook Finn up, but he was far from right on that assumption.

Kurt had been more than willing to take on the babysitting gig of his niece and nephew, and had basically shoved Finn out the door. Telling him to have fun, but not too much fun. Finn knew that Kurt just wanted to see him happy, and Rachel was the one that made him happy. Once they arrived at the hotel, Finn made good on his promise and was immediately trying to have his way with Rachel. She was trying to protest, but he could see she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

"Finn!" she squealed as he threw her on the bed. Sliding up against the pillows, Rachel's eyes stayed on Finn's as he crawled to her, his lips immediately claiming hers. "I want you," she whispered softly as their kiss broke.

"I want you, too," and he did, more than anything. Before either of them knew it, clothes were scattered about and Rachel had apparently used all of her strength to turn them over so that Finn was under her. Licking his lips, he let his eyes scan her body, she really did have curves in all the right places. "You're beautiful."

Leaning down, Rachel let her mouth hover right over his ear as she spoke above a whisper, "And you're so sexy." Reaching down, Finn's dick was taken into her hand and she positioned him at her opening before sinking down at him. Throwing her head back, Rachel let out a loud groan, just as Finn did the same. His hands immediately finding a home on her waist as he helped her start to move up and down on him. "Finn," she moaned softly.

"Uhh," Finn grunted as he picked up his pace, "Fuck, babe." Pushing himself up slightly, Finn immediately began to to pay attention to Rachel's chest with his mouth. Smirking at the little purrs he began to hear come from her mouth as their pace began to pick up. "Ugh, so tight," he groaned as he roughly pulled her mouth to his, "I fucking love your pussy."

Normally, he would have been scolded by Rachel here, but instead she just moaned and brought her one hand up to rest on the back of his neck as the other came up to play with her breast. He pulled his head back to watch her, just the sight of her was threatening to push him over the edge. Her hair was wild and sticking to her face, she was biting down on her lip hard to contain the loud moans that were threatening to escape, "Finn.. harder. Please."

Holding onto her tightly, he flipped them over. Reaching down, he grabbed her one leg and threw it over his shoulder as he started to pound into her. His eyes looking down to see himself slide in and out of her. He knew that he was being rough, but the sounds coming from her assured him that she was enjoying every minute of it. "Fuck, fuck," he gritted through his teeth, "I'm so fucking close, baby. You need to come for me, I need you to come for me."

Rachel threw her head back and moaned loudly as she scraped her nails down Finn's back causing him to hiss at the pain, "Oh god. Oh god. Yes, yes, right there." Rachel met his thrusts as much as she could before her body started to tense and she was set over the edge. Riding her orgasm out, it wasn't long until she felt Finn explode into her, and after a few more thrusts he collapsed on her chest. "Wow," she sighed happily after checking her breath.

"Definitely," he smugly smiled as he began to leave lazy wet kisses against her chest as he snuggled against her, "I love you."

Running her fingers through his now damp hair, Rachel smiled brightly, "I love you, too. Always have."

* * *

It had all been going so great, they had taken a nap before getting up and going out to get some food. Eventually finding themselves back at the hotel for rounds 2 & 3, but then it all came to a halt at the phone call. Christopher had taken quite a big fall and it was looking like a broken arm. While, Kurt had informed Finn that he was okay, just really wanted his daddy, her heart broke. With a decision by both of them to cut the weekend short, they headed back into the city. Rachel had tried to sooth Finn the entire car ride, she knew how worried he was about Christopher, even if Kurt said he was doing okay. The hospital apparently had been backed up, so they were just getting settled into the room when Finn arrived. He had offered to take Rachel home, but she declined. She didn't care anymore if people knew or not, Rachel loved him and adored his kids.

They headed into the hospital and immediately went to find out where Christopher was. Rachel continued to rub Finn's back slowly as she pressed a kiss to his arm, "Yes, my son-," he was so worried, "My son Christopher Hudson was brought in and-"

Before Finn was even able to finish, Kurt's voice cut him off, "There you are! We were wondering when you'd get here. He just got his x-ray and the doc-," Kurt trailed off as Finn, holding onto Rachel turned to look at him. It was like a deer caught in the headlights, "Uhh.. he wants to see you."

"Okay," Finn nodded and looked down at Rachel. She have him a reassuring smile and nodded. "I love you," he whispered softly before leaning down to give her a soft kiss on her lips before heading down the hallway to Chris' room.

Rachel's gaze left Finn's retreating figure and landed on Kurt, who was staring at her in awe, "I had no idea. I can't believe I had no idea. He's just been so happy and he has never been this happy with anyone but you. I can't believe it." Taking a step towards Rachel, he quickly grabbed her hand and noticed the lack of ring, "I thought you were married."

"I was- I am..," she took a deep breath, "I'm separated. Finn already knows all of this though."

"How long?"

Gulping softly, she stared at the face of her once close friend, "A few months. I love him, Kurt."

Reaching up, Kurt tapped his finger against his chin, "You're going to get divorced, right? This is not just some fling or-."

"No, never," she sighed softly, "There's a lot that's been going on. My feelings for Finn are genuine and I'm sorry..."

Raising his eyebrow, "Sorry?"

"For not telling you," pursing her lips, "There's just-."

Kurt held his hand up and shook his head, "I think that is a story for another time. Oh, and believe me I will make sure this happens. So expect me to call you sometime soon," pursing his lips, "Go ahead. He'd want you in there."

Rachel nodded, "Okay." Before heading off down the hall, she stopped and hugged Kurt briefly. When she arrived at the room, Finn was sitting on the edge of the bed as the doctor prepped Chris for his cast. "Hi."

Finn held his hand out for her to take. Heading into the room, she took it and slipped into his embrace as he kissed her temple. Everything seemed like it was slipping into place someway or another.

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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Hey guys! So here's the next chapter and I once again want to take you all for reading and reviewing the story it means so much! Its because of you I keep writing! I could have probably wrote like a ton more to this chapter, but we're preparing for bad weather and I wanted to get it out there for you just in case I end up losing power! Thank you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

The sound of their forks banging against the plates was getting highly irritating due to the headache he was currently sporting. He had barely slept the night before because the storm had kept Madi up all night. She wasn't particularly fond of storms, but usually she didn't put up much of a fuss. Last night had been a completely different situation though. She had come into his room crying, and he spent the whole time trying to calm her down. Every time, she would start to fall asleep a loud crash of thunder would cause her to jump. Normally, he wouldn't have an issue with it, but given the fact he had worked an all-nighter at the station the night prior - he was running on very little. He was trying not to be grumpy, especially to the kids or Rachel, but he was just exhausted and having run out of ibuprofen hadn't made him the happiest camper.

Ever since the night at the hospital when Chris broke his arm, Rachel's presence had grown great around the children. They kept it pretty innocent, and if you asked Madi or even Chris, well it was easy to just assume they were close friends. Even before that, it was clear that Finn's children both seemed to like Rachel a great deal, but he had wanted to still make the progress slowly. Kurt was the only one who had known, and from he could tell, his step-brother had made sure to talk to Rachel about it. Neither one of them had told him what had taken place, but given that Kurt told him not to hurt her, he felt the conversation between the two was probably similar. All he knew was that he had no intentions of hurting Rachel.

Rachel had come over on that particular evening to make dinner for him and the kids, and to watch a movie with the kids. It had been her and Madi's idea one day when he and the kids had met Rachel for lunch. It really made him happy to see how much his daughter adored Rachel, and the fact Rachel adored the kids was just amazing. Letting out a loud groan, he leaned his face into his hands and closed his eyes for a minute. It was definitely hard catching up on sleep with two kids running around. With it being summer, they clearly were home more and he had given Cynthia the day off for Michelle's parents anniversary party.

"Finn?" Rachel's voice came from behind him, "Are you okay?"

Lifting his head, he gave her a little half smile, "Just really tired. Haven't slept much." He felt bad for admitting it, especially given one of the reasons that he hadn't slept much was his own daughter, but he was just dead ass tired.

"Oh," she pursed her lips as she looked at the kids who were animatedly talking and eating their food, "Why don't you go lay down for a bit? I'll clean up after the kids and put the move on for them."

He turned his head to look at her, "I don't want you to have to do that. It's fine, I'll-"

Shaking her head, she brought her finger to his lips, "No, go lay down, Finn. Now." he went to open his mouth again, but all she did was shake her head, "Now Finn."

Pushing the chair back causing it to screech, he looked around the table to see everyone staring at him, "Sorry." He glanced around to see that the plates were almost empty and he honestly felt so bad leaving Rachel to clean up and settle the kids down for a movie, "Rach, I'm fine. I don't need to lay down."

Putting her fork down, she folded her hands in front of her and looked at Finn rather intensely, "Finn, you're exhausted. You need to rest for a bit."

He knew with the mood he was in that anything he could end up saying could come off as snappy, "Let me just help you clean up the dishes and then we can watch the movie and I can rest my eyes. Please?"

"Daddy watch movie wif us," Chris said smilingly widely.

Rachel looked at the kids and back at Finn, she really didn't have any place as just the 'friend' to say no, so she let out a sigh and nodded, "Daddy is going to watch the movie with you. I am going to start cleaning up. Did you guys like dinner?"

"Mmhm! Thank you Ms. McGuire," Madi said happily as she finished off her juice.

"Sweetie, I've told you," Rachel said smiling, "you can call me Rachel when we're hanging out, okay?"

Madi nodded vigorously, "Can I go watch the movie now?"

"Just wash your hands!" Finn called out as Madi jumped down from the chair with Chris running after her to wash their hands. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Don't say it," he said softly before opening his eyes.

Rachel stood above him, holding two plates, her mouth opened as if she was about to say something. Quickly shutting it she picked up his plate, "I wasn't going to say anything. I just-," she paused, "I worry about you. Why are you so tired? You didn't sleep well last night?"

"The storm," he answered calmly, "Madi didn't do too well and kept me up all night. However, she clearly has no trouble being bouncy," he groaned, "I miss being young." He stood up and began to help Rachel put the dishes in the sink until the table was clear. "Hmm," he sighed as he came up to wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her softly on the neck.

"Finn," she squealed, trying to pull herself from his grasp, "The kids."

"The kids love you," he moved her hair out of the way to give himself better access, "I love you."

Turning in his arms, Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled, "I love you, too. I just- with the divorce still not final."

"Rachel, Madi and Chris don't even understand what a divorce is," he said groaning, "Kurt knows. Patrick is going to be out of your life soon. Me kissing you," he leaned in to capture her lips softly, "in my house is not wrong."

"I know," she leaned up to kiss him on the nose, "I just- I don't want to be a bad influence on your kids."

Finn couldn't help but laugh, "Bad influence? Do you realize what you just said." He leaned in and kissed her, a little longer and harder this time, "You are far from a bad influence." At the sound of the kids coming rushing back into the room, Finn pressed a kiss to the top of Rachel's head before going over and picking both his kids and flying them into the living room. Their giggles echoed through the loft as he placed them on the floor and walked over to the DVD stand, "Okay, so what are we watching?"

Madi and Chris began to argue over what to watch, of course Chris didn't actually know the correct names to all the movies so he would throw out random names of things that had to do with the film. Eventually they were able to decide on Beauty and the Beast and Finn put it in before plopping down on the couch and letting his eyes closed. The couch shifted only a few minutes later, "You asleep?"

Opening his eyes, he smiled at Rachel and shook his head, "not yet."

"Get some rest," she leaned towards him and reached up to cup his face, "I don't want you feeling terrible."

"Thanks, babe." He leaned down and kissed the top of his head before letting his eyes close for the longest they had been closed in a while.

* * *

She had been in such a good mood lately, especially when it came to Finn. While the divorce wasn't final yet, she knew it was only the matter of time. Her and Patrick had to sit down with their lawyers one more time to settle the assets and then it would be done. She knew that Patrick was kicking himself for not making her sign a prenuptial agreement, but really, she didn't want all that much. She wanted the apartment, but he was trying to give her issues on that for some reason. Probably just to piss her off, lately he seemed to want to do that a lot more. It was like he was bitter over the fact that Rachel had been the one doing the leaving and not him, but she was going to try to stay in a positive mood. It was the first time in a long time she had been truly happy.

Having not seen Santana a lot lately because of their conflicting schedules, the two best friends decided to spend the day together. However, once the day was actually in progress Rachel wanted to strangle Santana. Somehow she allowed her best friend into talking her into going shopping, and going shopping with Santana wasn't really the most thrilling thing. She tended to go a little crazy with her husbands credit card, but he didn't mind. Patrick always hated when Rachel spent money, and really the only times he didn't seem to mind was when he was trying to distract her or when she had lost the babies. Did he think her buying things would keep her out of depression? Who really know what had been going on in Patrick's mind at all, he seemed to be the perfect liar.

After shopping for what seemed like forever, the two loaded their bags into Mark and Santana's town car and started to head to Rachel's to drop her off. She had been quiet for most of the ride she hadn't exactly noticed Santana was staring at her first. Finally she did and she looked confused, "What? Is there something on my face?" Reaching up, she began to wipe her face in hopes to get off whatever was there, but it was nothing.

"You have been particularly quiet this entire ride," Santana explained before opening her purse and pulling out her compact, "I barely have seen you lately and here you are, quiet as a mouse or something."

"Oh, I just have stuff on my mind," she answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

Sighing, Santana rolled her eyes as she began to reapply her lipstick, "Please don't tell me you are thinking of your dickhead soon to be ex-husband."

"No," Rachel shook her head before looking down at her lap, "I've kind of- I've kind of been lying to you."

Santana quickly turned her head and stared at Rachel for a moment, "Lying? Lying to me about what?"

"Well," Rachel was nervous, why was she so nervous? This wasn't high school anymore. "I've been seeing Finn."

"Seeing Finn?" she took the words in, "Finn Hudson?"

Nodding, Rachel continued, "I love him and he loves me and... we have been together kind of."

"Since when? I thought you stopped seeing him after that whole incident."

Shaking her head, Rachel looked at her friend sadly, "I lied. We never stopped.. We were having an affair I guess." Reasoning that she had just said that out-loud with the driver in front, her eyes quickly widened and began to freak out, "Oh my god."

Rolling her eyes, Santana scoffed, "Oh don't you worry about Johnny." She leaned in towards Rachel and whispered into her ear, "he wants me so bad.. so sometimes I show him a little leg and more."

"What about Mark?"

"It's not like anythings happening... yet," she smirked, "Oh shush, you just admitted you had an affair and you're looking at me that way." Laughing, she patted her best friends leg, "I'm teasing. Okay, well, this is big news. I guess you want to be with him once the divorce is final?"

Rachel nodded, "We were trying to keep it a secret until the divorce, but then his son broke his arm and well.. we had been away together so Kurt find out," she pursed her lips, "the kids don't exactly know, but I've been around them more. So if they find out it's not a big blow and I'm not a big stranger."

"How quaint," Santana rolled her eyes, "Okay, but really, if you're happy then I am happy for you." Just as she said this they pulled up to Rachel's place, "Just make sure to warn Finnessa that if he hurts you I will make him cry."

Rachel giggled and nodded, "I will.. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You should be," cracking a smile she continued, "but I understood why you did."

Once Rachel was out of the car and bags in hand, she headed upstairs and into the apartment to have a relaxing night. However, when she walked inside she was greeted by someone she hadn't wanted to see. Sitting on the edge of the bed was Patrick and he didn't look happy. Rachel rolled her eyes and quickly dropped her bags and turned to ask him what he was doing there, but then she saw what was in his hands. A pregnancy test.

"Wh-where did you get that?"

"Pregnancy tests, huh?" Patrick nodded his head, "It's funny you know.. people usually only take pregnancy test when they think they are pregnant. And to think that you're pregnant would mean you have to be having sex." He began to laugh, "And the funny part is... we stopped having sex months ago. I mean, you would have had to pop a baby out already if it was mine."

"Patrick-," she sighed, "it's not what you think."

"How would you know what I am thinking?" he said rudely before standing up, "I could be thinking a million things! But one thing I _know _is you're a little fucking whore!" he threw the test at her, "How dare you fucking cheat on me!"

Rachel winced slightly as the test hit her, "We are getting a divorce!"

"And why is that again! So you can have the baby of some fucking scumbag who gets to stick his dick in you," Patrick yelled as he backed Rachel up against the wall. Pinning her hands against it, "You think you can get a better man than me? You are fucking mistaken little girl.. you-," all of a sudden Patrick was knocked the ground and Rachel turned to see Finn standing there seething.

"You never fucking touch her!"

Patrick shook it off as he stood up, "This is my apartment! Who the fuck are you?" he turned to Rachel and started to laugh, "is this him! Is this the guy that you are fucking? Wow Rach, way to downgrade."

"Get the fuck out before I kick your fucking ass!" Finn took a step towards him, "Now."

"You can't-," Patrick was cut off by Finn's fist hitting his jaw, "You fucking bastard!" he grabbed his face and started to walk away, "You both are going to be very sorry!"

* * *

It had all been a blur, a complete and utter blur. He had come by to surprise Rachel if she was home, but when he arrived he was greeted by something else. Just as he was about to knock he heard yelling from inside and immediately he tensed up when he heard Rachel's scared voice. Discovering that the door was unlocked, he quickly let himself in and just didn't even realize what happened next. He had never seen Patrick until that moment, but that didn't stop him from wanting to kill him when he saw him touching Rachel. All he really had seen was red.

However, as soon as it was all over he took Rachel into his arms and held her closely, "baby, it's okay. It's okay."

"I-," Rachel stuttered but couldn't really get any words out.

After a few moments of just holding her, Finn took a step back and brought his hand down to cup her face, "Are you okay?"

Rachel nodded, "Yeah. I don't know what he was doing here."

"What did he say to you?"

"He just got angry.. he found the pregnancy test and-,"

"Pregnancy test?" Finn's eyes widened and he watched as Rachel looked at him scared, "What pregnancy test?"

"I—i took a pregnancy test. I had been feeling a little odd lately and my period was late, but-" she sighed softly, "it was false."

Leaning in, he kissed her deeply, he knew how much Rachel had wanted a baby and the fact that she had it ripped away from her not once, but three times with complications, "Baby, I am so sorry."

"I had wanted to take a test before I told you I thought I might be. I didn't want to upset you."

Finn chuckled as he shook his head, "Upset me? Rach, I'd never be upset with you." He kissed her softly, "Honestly, if you were pregnant I would be so happy and then I could get you to move in with me for sure."

"What?" she raised her eyebrow and looked at him confused.

"I was waiting until the divorce was final, but Rachel I want you to move in with me an the kids. I love you so much," he sighed, "And after this... I don't want you living here."

"Finn," she started, but he shook his head.

"We don't have to talk about it now, but I want you to spend the night at my place, please?"

She looked in his eyes for a moment and smiled, "Let me just pack a bag." She went to walk away, but stopped when she stepped on something. Looking down, Finn noticed Rachel pick up the negative pregnancy and slowly begin to sob. "I don't think it's meant to be."

"Rachel," he walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, "Don't you say that, okay? Don't you dare say that." he kissed the top her head as he pulled her back against his chest and looked at them in the mirror in front of them. "You weren't meant to have a child with him. I an see that now, but you and me? That's a new chapter and our future is going to have children in it."

Patrick discovering about them was probably the last thing they needed, but in that minute neither of them cared about Patrick.

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